B.A.D. Movie of the Week: Bodies Bodies Bodies

Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)

Directed by Halina Reijn

Story by Kristen Roupenian

Screenplay by Sarah DeLappe

Stars: Amandla Stenberg, Maria Bakalova, Myha'la Herrold, Chase Sui Wonders, Rachel Sennott, Lee Pace, Pete Davidson, and Conner O'Malley 

The only that I wanted to see this movie was because of Lee Pace shirtlessness, and possibly some gay shit happening. That did happen, but the other parts of the movie were inconsequential.

During a "hurricane party," a group of "friends" gather together for some odd reason. Things take a turn when during the aftermath of Bodies, Bodies, Bodies, one of the person turns up dead. The night descends into chaos.

The thing with satire is that you have to have compelling characters, an even tone, and tight pacing. Here you don't care about the characters. All of them are assholes. I wanted all of them to die. The tone of the movie was supposed to be horror and comedy. It failed on those aspects. The rhythm of the action was so slow that I was about to become a corpse during the runtime.

You can call me a boomer, but I don't care about the message about not emulating things on TikTok. Yeah, no. Sorry. Next!

Rating: 1/10

Elvis

Elvis (2022)

Directed by Baz Luhrmann

Story by Baz Luhrmann and Jeremy Doner

Screenplay by Baz Luhrmann & Sam Bromell and Craig Pearce and Jeremy Doner 

Stars: Tom Hanks, Austin Butler, Olivia DeJonge, Helen Thomson, Richard Roxburgh, Luke Bracey, Dacre Montgomery, Leon Ford,  David Wenham, and Kodi Smit-McPhee

There was some trepidation going into this movie. I have seen people shower praise at this movie right and left. Usually when this happens, I would hate the movie. My suspicions were correct. 

Elvis's (Butler) life is recounted through the lengthy monologuing coming from Svengali-- Charlatan-- Con Man-- I mean, Elvis's "manager", Colonel Tom Parker (Hanks) as he is slowing dying that January night in 1997.

This movie is the classic "all style, no substance." I look at the movie and see a lot of money has been put into the look of the film; the production design, costumes, the music. etc. It feels that I did not learn anything new about Elvis or his life.

Luhrmann touted that this movie is not a biopic. It has the making of a typical Hollywood biopic, but it's a skewed view of Elvis dictated by Parker's narration. It glossed over Elvis's time in the military service or his Hollywood acting career. For a movie that over 2 1/2 hours long, I got the surface level of Elvis.

The biggest problems of the movie are the "Dutch?" accent that Tom Hanks had to do for Parker. The prosthetics didn't do him any favors. It was like watching a goblin waddle around. The editing was a mess.  It didn't help with getting into the mood of the movie these quick cuts, zooms and dissolving shots. There were some hip-hop songs in this. I had to pause. If it was jukebox musical like Moulin Rouge! then I would understand. This had mostly Elvis's songs and some other blues/gospel/rock/country music from Lil' Richard, BB King or Mahalia Jackson.

Austin Butler is getting some Oscar buzz for his performance. I liked him in the movie. It feels like he is carrying an albatross, trying not to drown in a mess of movie. I don't see it happens for him. He might be a dark horse nomination for now.

If the film was structured better without having Parker as the co-lead of the movie, I would have like the film more. It should have been called, "Elvis's Manager" or "Legs."

Rating: 4/10

The Barefoot Contessa

The Barefoot Contessa (1954)

Written and directed by Joseph L. Mankiewicz

Stars: Humphrey Bogart, Ava Gardner, Edmond O'Brien, Marius Goring, Elizabeth Sellars, Warren Stevens, Rossano Brazzi, Valentina Cortese, and Mari Aldon

There were mentions of this movie on Twitter as of late, and I wanted to see why people are loving this movie. The poster of the movie confused me, "The World's Most Beautiful Animal?" Realizing that it was a pet name for Ava Gardner concerns me. I would rather watch a Barefoot Contessa with Ina Garten marathon than this.

The last three years of Maria Varga's (Gardner) life is recounted by the three important men in her life; her writer/director friend, Harry Dawes (Bogart), the publicist who tries to convince her to be in movies, Oscar Muldoon (O'Brien) and the love of her life, Count Vincenzo Torlato-Favrini (Brazzi).

This movie could have been great. When I was watching it, I kept thinking that they should have gotten rid of the three narrator voice-overs and not have the funeral peppered throughout the movie. The movie could have been more streamlined if they leave the mystery of what happened to Maria until the final moments of the movie.

I wanted to love this movie. It has some fabulous costumes, Ava Gardner, Spanish music and the Italian countryside. The movie as whole was not cohesive. The dialogue was long winded. It felt that Mankiewicz's hubris got the better of him.

I wanted to know more about this woman that never wanted to be caged. I didn't get that. It felt very surface. It could have been more tragic if I knew who Maria was more.

Rating: 6/10

Witness for the Prosecution

Witness for the Prosecution (1957)

Directed by Billy Wilder

Screenplay by Billy Wilder and Harry Kurnitz

Adaptation by Lawrence B. Marcus

Based on the play by Agatha Christie

Stars: Charles Laughton, Tyrone Power, Marlene Dietrich, Elsa Lanchester, John Williams, Ian Wolfe, Torin Thatcher, Norma Varden, Una O'Connor, Francis Compton, and Ruta Lee

Scrolling through the selections on Amazon Prime, I happen to find this movie. I wanted to see more Billy Wilder or Marlene Dietrich movies. This is solid courtroom drama to see.

Leonard Vole (Power) is standing trial. He is accused of the murder of Mrs. Emily Jane French (Varden). Noted barrister, Sir Wilfrid Robarts (Laughton) is tasked to represent him, even though his care nurse, Miss Plimsoll (Lanchester) watches him like a hawk, because of his recent heart attack. Over the course of the trial, details of that faithful come to the light.

I have to say that the banter between Wilfird and Plimsoll was very good. I didn't know that the movie was nominated for six Oscars. Laughton was very good with his portrayal of Wilfird. I cannot say that same with Lanchester. I'm not saying that she was bad, but I thought she was fine. Oscar worthy? Not really.

Usually when there is a mystery, I would usually figure it out an hour before the movie ends. This last fifteen minutes of the movie was the most riveting piece of cinema I have ever seen. I thought that I was so smart and figured everything out. Nope.

After the ending credits, I have more questions about the behaviors of certain people.

Rating: 8/10

B.A.D. Movie of the Week: Secret Headquarters

Secret Headquarters (2022)

Directed by Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman

Story by Christopher L. Yost

Screenplay by Christopher L. Yost and Josh Koenigsberg & Henry Joost & Ariel Schulman

Stars: Walker Scobell, Keith L. Williams, Momona Tamada, Abby James Witherspoon, Owen Wilson, Jesse Williams, Michael Peña, Dustin Ingram, Levy Tran, Michael Anthony, Charles Melton, and Jessie Mueller

Has anyone heard of this movie? I didn't know about it until I saw a story of Jesse William's Instagram talking about this movie coming out. Let's just say that poster is misleading. The movie as a whole is a mess.

The world is a safer place with The Guard, a mysterious superhero that travels across the globe doing heroic feats. A secret organization headed by Argon (Peña) wants to the find the source of The Guard's power. Charlie (Scobell) staying over at his dad, Jack's (Wilson) house with his friends discover a secret lair beneath. He discovers that his dad is The Guard, and the children have a target on their backs.

Going into this movie, I thought the movie was going to be like Sky High based on the poster. No, I wasn't. It's more like Iron Man, but but he barely in the movie. Seriously. The movie was focusing on these dumb teenagers who did dumb things. 

Let's have a movie that have teenagers play with alien guns. Cool. Let's a movie where these adults are willing to kill these kids. All right. Have the kids cheat in school with alien technology and suffer no consequences. Fine. Have one of the characters, Lizzie (Witherspoon) be completely crazy for "older boys." Nope.

The secret lair was the coolest thing about this movie. Other than that, it was a disaster.

Rating: 2/10

Best Picture Nominee Movie Catch Up: Spotlight

Spotlight (2015)

Directed by Tom McCarthy

Screenplay by Josh Singer and Tom McCarthy

Stars: Mark Ruffalo, Michael Keaton, Rachel McAdams, Brian d'Arcy James, Liev Schreiber, John Slattery, Stanley Tucci, Billy Crudup,  Jamey Sheridan, and Neal Huff

I remember when the scandal broke with the sexual abuse, and the Catholic Church trying to cover it up. I was disgusted. My views on organized religion were deteriorating at the time and I had good reason. This movie has to be seen.

During the summer of 2001, the Spotlight Team as part of The Boston Globe are urged to do a story about the child sexual abuse case by their new Editor-At-Large, Marty Baron (Schrieber). The team headed by Robby (Keaton) wants to keep the story hush until they are ready to publish the expose. Mike (Ruffalo) and Sacha (McAdams) dig deeper to find something bigger than they thought possible.

This movie is a slow burn. The beginning of the movie was a bit clunky with that opening scene in the 70s. I guess, it was establishing the Church's complicity to the abuse. Sure. We already know what happened. That scene doesn't need to be there.

The actors were solid in the movie. In my opinion, I thought that Mark Ruffalo gave a great performance as Mike. I was confused when I learned that his character was Puerto Rican. Made me side eye the film. Or when Stanley Tucci, playing Mitchell Garabedian, said that he was Armenian. Right.

By the end of the movie, I wanted all the churches to burn. I know that big organizations will be corrupt or try to protect their own people. This movie was gripping.

Rating: 9/10

Best Picture Nominee Catch Up Movie: The Favourite

The Favourite (2018)

Directed by Yorgos Lanthimos

Screenplay by Deborah Davis and Tony McNamara

Stars: Olivia Colman, Rachel Weisz, Emma Stone, Nicholas Hoult, Joe Alwyn, James Smith, and Mark Gatiss

Ever since Olivia Colman's surprise Best Actress, I wanted to see what the fuss was all about. I don't know what to say. I did not care for this movie.

Queen Anne (Colman) is ailing as a new servant Abigail (Stone) is brought to her services. Anne's close confidant is Lady Sarah Marlborough (Weisz) and also cousin to Abigail. The two cousins try to win favor for Anne's attention by any means necessary.

This type of movie would check all the boxes for me; gorgeous costumes, sharp dialogue, fabulous women and a lush score. It checked some of the boxes for me. The costumes were exquisite.

The problems I have with the film outweighs the positives. The score. Oh, dear. The repetitive chords drove me crazy. I learned that they were repurposed music from the musicians at the time period of Queen Anne's reign.

The fish eye lens shots were a terrible choice. I hated it so much.

The movie was billed a black comedy. I laughed once in the entire movie. The tone was all over the place. You have Queen Anne yapping like a chihuahua one minute and then you have one of the characters being poisoned and dragged. It was jarring.

The supporting performances by Stone and Weisz were far better than Colman. Colman's performance consisted of yelling, falling, stumbling, and being carted around. I don't get the hype with the movie.

Rating: 4/10