Monday, September 30, 2013

Only God Forgives

Only God Forgives (2013)

Written and directed by Nicolas Winding Refn

Stars: Ryan Gosling, Kirstin Scott Thomas, Vithaya Pansringarm, Gordon Brown, Yayaying Rhatha Phongam and Tom Burke

I am back one again with my monthly review. Trying something a little different, I rented Only God Forgives from Google Play. After I raved about Refn's last effort, Drive, I wanted to see his next feature. After this movie got a mixed reception at Cannes, I wanted to know if the movie is as bad as the critics say it is. The answer is yes.

In this neo-noir thriller, Ryan Gosling plays Julian, an underground drug dealer that runs his business from a Muay Thai area. Julian's older brother, Billy (Burke) who has a penchant of liking underage girls kills a child prostitute.

Lieutenant Chang (Pansringarm) allows the girl's father to kill Billy, but cuts off his arm, because he let his daughter go into the sex trade. Julian's mother, Crystal (Scott Thomas) flies in from America to bury her eldest son. She knows about the dirty business the brothers were in. She wants Julian to kill the man that killed his brother. When Julian is about to exact his revenge he hears the story about about why Billy was killed and ha a change of heart. This leads to a dark descent into chaos.

The reviews of this movies have been scathing. People said it was style over substance. That is true. The visuals of the film were something to behold. The story was stale. I have seen this story is multiple configurations through my movie watching experience. There are no likable to grasp here. Who wants to hear about kiddie fuckers, comparing the size of your sons' dicks, calling a girl a "cum dumpster or the endless karaoke numbers, for fuck's sake.

The movie was boring to watch. I didn't give two shits about what happens to the characters. I want my money and time back.

My Rating

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

The Butler

Lee Daniel's The Butler (2013)

Directed by Lee Daniels

Screenplay by Danny Strong

Based on the article, "A Butler Well Served by This Election" by Wil Haygood

Stars: Forest Whittaker, Oprah Winfrey, David Oyelowo, Colman Domingo, Terrance Howard, Yaya Alafia, Cuba Gooding Jr., Lenny Kravitz, Elijah Kelly, Robin Williams, John Cusack, James Marsden, Minka Kelly, Liev Schreiber,  Nelsan Ellis, Alan Rickman, Jane Fonda and Clarence Williams III

This might be the regularity of my posts. It might be monthly. Work is gobbling up all my time. I missed some movies that I wanted to see. On the rarest of family outing, we went to the movies to see Lee Daniel's latest. I wanted to see the film, because it has all sorts of Oscar buzz surrounding it. The lesson I took from the movie is that the butler didn't do that much.

Cecil Gaines (Forest Whitaker) has always known that he was always going to be a domestic. He made it his missions to be the best he could be. He made quite the impressions when the White House personally picks him to come serve the President personally. Starting at the Eisenhower administration, Gaines, his boozy wife, Gloria (Winfrey), militant son, Louis (Oyelowo) and idealistic baby son, Charlie (Kelly) watch the tides of the country change towards Black people. The Butler served under six presidents and his outlook is forever changed about the country he served silently.

The way that the movie was promoted, I thought that the Butler had a huge impact of the civil rights movement. It's not the case. It was a subtle shift in perception as white folks thought blacks were violent, inhuman, inferior. On the flip side, you have Louis that was one of the Freedom Riders that is more in your face with confronting the prejudice at that time.

I remember stories when I was growing up about my mother being spat on and called a nigger to her face at that time. It makes me appreciate what the older generation had to go through in order for me to have the same freedoms today.

Something about this film seemed forced and phony to me. It felt like a TV movie that has that overt message about racial bigotry. It felt like the characters were superfluous. They were more like archetypes of who black people were back then. It didn't highlight the fact that Gaines served six presidents. It glossed over keys moments of JFKs assassination or Martin Luther King's. They were afterthoughts. The movie felt lean and not something I could sink my teeth in to enjoy it.

My Rating

Thursday, July 4, 2013

World War Z

World War Z (2013)

Directed by Marc Forster

Story by Matthew Michael Caranahan and J. Michael Straczynski

Screenplay by Matthew Michael Caranahan and Drew Goddard & Damon Lindelof

Based on the book by Max Brooks

Stars: Brad Pitt, Mirelle Enos, Daniella Kertesz, Fana Mokoena, James Badge Dale, Ludi Boeken, Elyes Gabel and David Morse

There has been a lot of bad press surrounding this movie from the inception, the constant reshoots, Brad Pitt clashes with the director and rewrites to the script. Everybody thought the movie was gonna suck major donkey balls, including myself. My thought was that it was gonna be a trainwreck and marvel in its awfulness. After watching movie, it's not godawful. It's bland.

It's a typical day in Philadelphia where Gerry Lane (Pitt) spends quality time with his family. All of a sudden, a mysterious epidemic sweeps the world. People panic, running from people that look like they were on bath salts, the world is ending around them.

Gerry gets a call from an old friend, Theirry (Mokoena)-- Gerry and Thierry, really?-- to hide out in battleship where the outbreak reach them. Some of the greatest minds the field of medicine try to determine what kind of outbreak it is. Gerry was tasked to find the source of the outbreak so they could figure out a way to stop it.

Having only read the first ten pages of the book when I borrowed it from the library must have saved me from eviscerating this movie. The movie was supposed to be a December 2012 release. I don't think it belongs in the middle of summer movie season. It looks like it on more grand scale that it is, but its not.

The way the movie plotted along was disheartening for me as a viewer. The "twists" were seen from a mile away. It felt like the movie was dumbed down. It insulted me. The movie unsatisfying with dull action scenes, the stale dialogue and the "are you fucking kidding me" climax. Blurgh!

My Rating

Monday, June 24, 2013

Man of Steel

Man of Steel (2013)

Directed by Zack Snyder

Story by David S. Goyer & Christopher Nolan

Screenplay by David S. Goyer

Based on the comic book series created by Jerry Siegel & Joe Shuster

Stars: Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Michael Shannon, Russell Crowe, Kevin Costner, Diane Lane, Laurence Fishburne, Christopher Meloni, Harry Lennix and Richard Schiff

My feelings for reboots of reboots are that they are unnecessary filler to get butts in the seats. Man of Steel is no different. Everybody and their mama knows about Superman's origin. We don't need to have it retold for the the billionth time. This movie has been getting slammed in the reviews. I kinda understand where they are coming from. The common denominator is that telling a Superman story is boring.

As the planet Krypton is imploding, Jor-El (Crowe) sends his only son in a capsule to escape the planet's fate. At the same time, General Zod (Shannon) organizes a coup to get rid of the higher officials of the planet, including Jor-El. Zod and his army are tried and sent into The Phantom Zone. Over thirty years pass as the baby's capsule crash lands in Kansas, the baby is raised by Jonathan and Martha Kent (Costner, Lane) and the boy-- now named Clark (Cavill), has to hide his secret from the people of the planet. A nosy journalist, Lois Lane (Adams) tries to find the stranger that consists various acts of heroism.

I tried not to have too lofty of expectations with the film, because of my feelings of Superman in general. Superman is a boring character to bring to the comic books, video games, television or the big screen, because he is too powerful. He has heat vision, bulletproof, flame retardant, able to fly and has super strength. Nothing could harm him. That's the biggest flaw with the character. He could only be weakened when the story fits around the situation.

The angle of Clark being discovered as an alien amongst the people of Earth was a good idea, but it could have a gone further with it. If they did this with Lex Luthor, who is known to hate Superman, an alien, I would have got into the story more. I know that the makers of this movie wanted to make a grounded version of Superman that could be relatable to the masses. It felt that the idea of Clark not getting caught being superhuman was something lost in the film.

I felt bored with the movie some of the time. Other times the action felt like a Michael Bay movie one minute and the next it was like an episode of Dragonball Z with a bit of the "climatic" scene of Thor thrown in there. I don't think the movie is greatest movie ever, but it's not the steaming pile of shit that sent fanboys in a teezy online. It was passable.

My Rating

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Behind the Candelabra

Behind the Candelabra (2013)

Directed by Steven Soderbergh

Screenplay by Richard LaGravenese

Based on the book, "Behind the Candelabra: My Life with Liberace" by Alex Thorleifson and Scott Thorson

Stars: Michael Douglas, Matt Damon, Rob Lowe, Scott Bakula, Dan Ackroyd, Tom Papa, Cheyenne Jackson and Debbie Reynolds

It has been a hot minute since I last reviewed a movie. There are so many movies coming out that I cannot decide which to see. Some of my most anticipated films have been panned by the critics. I decided to watch a television movie, which supposedly Soderbergh last movie before his "retirement." With all the praise this movie is getting, I had an empty feeling after watching the movie.

Behind the Candelabra is retelling of the relationship between the flamboyant piano player, Liberace (Douglas) and the naive boy, Scott (Damon) that the world didn't know about. The movie starts in 1977 when the old lover, Billy Leatherwood (Jackson) is on his way out with the young chippy, Scott comes in. Liberace is smitten with Scott that wants to adopt him and be Liberace's chauffeur for his concerts. Over the course of their five year relationship, the movie recounts the ups and downs with sex, drugs and botched plastic surgery.

Here is another case of having too lofty expectations of a film. I thought I was going to be enraptured by the glitz, glamor, and lavish way that film was going to portray this over-the-top life of Liberace. That old adage, "All style, no substance" comes to mind. It looks like the filmmakers wanted to make sure that the sets were as extravagant as possible to put together a cohesive story together. There were moments that I laughed and that I liked the movie, other times it was painful to watch.

It seems that I was more disappointed with the movie than hated it.

My Rating

Saturday, April 20, 2013


42 (2013)

Written and directed by Brian Helgeland

Stars: Chadwick Boseman, Harrison Ford, Nicole Beharie, Andre Holland, Christopher Meloni, Brett Cullen, Ryan Merriman, Lucas Black, Alan Tudyk, Hamish Linklater, T.R. Knight, James Pickens Jr and John C. McGinley

After being criticized for not watching movies with a predominantly African-American cast being a certain family member. 42 is a movie that I actually wanted to see. I grew up watching Astros games seeing the game of baseball. It makes you wonder when you were in the stands back in 1947 when Jackie Robinson first took the field.

The movie starts like any typical biopic with the obligatory text about the where the starting point of the film is gonna be. Jack Roosevelt Robinson (Boseman) was a shortstop for the Negro Baseball League team, the Kansas City Monarchs when he is picked by GM Branch Dickey (Ford) to become the first Negro player in the major league. With the help of his wife, Rachel (Beharie) and sports writer Wendell Smith (Holland), Jackie navigates through the murky waters of integrating into white baseball.

Usually movies about pioneering figures would get into saccharine territory, this movie is not exception. The roar and jeers of the crowd, the swelling music and the obligatory slow motion running on the bases. Watching the movie, you have no idea why Branch Dickey decides to have a Negro player on the Brooklyn Dodger until a conservation happens while Jackie is being stitched up.

42 being so squeaky clean could have been major strike against it. It didn't mind that. I was fascinated about the trajectory of this man being plucked out from the K.C. Monarchs into the national spotlight in manner of two short years. Robinson only wanted to play baseball and be good at what he did. He didn't set out to be a hero. That's what he turned out to be in the end. Players commemorates Jackie Robinson with wearing his number in solidarity. It's a wonderful thing.

I was very surprised that Branch Dickey was played by Harrison Ford in the trailers. Boseman as Jackie Robinson was very good. He made him suave, smart-aleck that would get a temper from time to time. I was surprised that Alan Tudyk from Firefly, Serenity and Suburgatory played the racist manage of Phillies. By the end of the movie, I was tearing up. The movie got me hook, line and sinker.

My Rating

Friday, April 19, 2013

The Place Beyond the Pines

The Place Beyond the Pines (2013)

Directed by Derek Cianfrance

Screenplay by Derek Cianfrance, Ben Coccio and Darius Marder

Stars: Ryan Gosling, Eva Mendes, Bradley Cooper, Ray Liotta, Mahershala Ali, Bruce Greenwood, Ben Mendelsohn, Rose Byrne, Harris Yulin, Robert Clohessy, Emory Cohen and Dane DeHaan

It has been awhile since I have reviewed a movie. I'm recovering from being snubbed by the LAMMY committee for the fourth year in a row. Apart from being the Susan Lucci on the blogging world, I wanted to see a good movie to lighten my mood. Raving about his previous directorial effort, Blue Valentine, Derek Cianfrance follows it up with The Place Beyond the Pines. I hate the title and mostly everything about this film.

Ryan Gosling re-teams with Cianfrace playing "Awesome" Luke, a motocross rider that works for a traveling caravel. The job takes him to his old stomping grounds of Schenectady, New York where he bumps into his ex-fling, Romina (Mendes) that kept a secret from him. A son named Jason. Luke wants to get back into his son's life but there are major hurdles in his way; one is her boyfriend, Kofi (Ali) and not having money to support them. A brilliant idea has been concocted when Robin (Mendelsohn) tells Luke to become a bank robber. Seeing that he was good with it, Luke becomes cocky and alerts the attention of the police, particularly rookie cop, Avery Cross (Cooper).

The movie seems like three movies into one. You have the first act that is trying to be like the infamous Best Picture winner, Crash, where characters have to bump into each other to get any kind of interaction. The second act of the movie is like any stereotypical cop movie where the good cop tries to play with the bad ones and gets in too deep. The third act of the film is trying to say that no matter where you go, life comes back around in a bad way.

There is something about this movie that rubbed me the wrong way. It was like I have seen this type of movie before. The plot felt very contrived and recycle. It was nothing fresh or new about it that could set it apart from any other movie. The motivations of some characters in the final act left me puzzled.

They only thing I liked about the movie with the Bradley Cooper performance. It was a solid performance of a rookie cop that tries to do the right thing in a wrong world.

The expectation of the movie was raised to an impossible level for me to enjoy the film that much. Maybe a few years down the line, my opinion would change.

My Rating

Friday, April 5, 2013

A Great Light Has Gone Out

Roger Ebert
(1942 - 2013)

Usually I would make jokes about crappy movies or praise excellent ones, now I feel somber. The Godfather of Film Critics, Roger Ebert died yesterday from the recurrence of his cancer. He was 70. I am merely a movie reviewer. He was critic that was revered with everyone that was a film lover.

When I was growing up, I used to catch Siskel & Ebert when I can with the movie bug bit me in high school. I admired the way that he approached his reviews of films. He truly loved the movie going experiences. After all of the hardship that he had to deal with death of Gene Siskel in 1999, his first battle with cancer that left him without a voice and the cancer come back, he handled everything with grace and dignity.

He is a person that will truly be missed from film community. My thoughts and prayers go out to his lovely wife, Chaz and his family.

Thank you for all that you have done, Roger and until we meet again.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

Directed by Stephen Sommers

Story by Michael Gordon and Stuart Beattie & Stephen Sommers

Screenplay by Stuart Beattie and David Elliott & Paul Lovett

Stars: Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans, Sienna Miller, Dennis Quaid, Ray Park, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Christopher Eccleston, Byung-hun Lee, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Rachel Nichols, Saïd Taghmaoui, Arnold Vosloo and Jonathan Pryce

I have decided recently that I want to see the dumb action movies, because I hate being disappointed with "good films". My bottom ten list for last year was more disappoints than actual shit films. Movies the young, dumb and full of fun. One of those movies was G.I. Joe: Retaliation. Not seeing the first film, I wanted to have a "clear" understanding of what the hell would happen when it opens.

Every American boy grew up with having the cartoons on. The live action version deals with an arms dealer, McCullen (Eccleston) that wants to weaponize nanomite technology in order to take over the world. Duke Hauser (Tatum) is on a military assignment with Ripcord (Wayans) to escort the nanomites when it was interrupted by Cobra. Duke and Ripcord fall into the G.I. Joes, a convert government organization that wants to stop McCullen.

I wanted to turn off my brain to watch this movie, but I couldn't. The G.I. Joe initiative is supposed to be the best of the best the military have to offer. The Cobra could easily fool the Joes is the stupidest ways possible. Do we the need to see the flashbacks? Seriously? The love backstory between The Baroness (Miller) and Duke was nauseating to say the least.

I can enjoy a big, dumb action film, but it seems the story is lazy. You cannot tell if people were in on the joke that it is a movie that it based on Hasbro toy line and cartoon. The only one that didn't take it seriously was JoGo as The Doctor.

My Rating

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Nominate Me!

Hello, readers.

It has been my mission ever since I jointed the LAMB in February 2009 was to get a LAMMY nomination. Sadly, that has not happened. I was in consideration for a couple of award, but not getting a nomination.

This is where you; my loyal readers come in. I want you to go here and put the name of my website in the following categories: Best Ratings System and Best Meme/Blog-a-thon. I didn't want to spread myself too thing with the other categories.

Being the Susan Lucci of bloggers, I am counting on you to at least get me a nomination. Blog, tweet, Facebook this post.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013


Immortals (2011)

Directed by Tarsem Singh

Screenplay by Charley Parlapanides and Vlas Parlapanides 
Stars: Henry Cavill, Mickey Rourke, Freida Pinto, Stephen Dorff, Joseph Morgan, Luke Evans, Isabel Lucas, Kellan Lutz and John Hurt

After seeing gratuitous ass shots of Kellan Lutz from his upcoming movie Java Heat, the desire to see Immortals grew. Do not ask how my mind works. Just go with it. There was the desire to see the film when it came out on 11-11-11, but it happened on my hiatus from movie watching. Seeing the movie now, the adage goes: all style, no substance.

Taking place at a time where the gods rules and mankind are left to fend for themselves. The story has been done before with the chosen one, Theseus (Cavill), a peasant that has a higher calling. There is an evil king, Hyperion (Rourke) that is seeking a weapon that has the power to destroy the gods, The Epirus Bow. The virgin oracle, Phaedra (Pinto), foretells that the paths between Theseus and Hyperion would clash in an epic battle of the ages.

With my limited knowledge on Greek mythology, the story of this movie was bland to put it mildly. The movie reminded me of the remake of Clash of the Titans. It was the same story about about a demigod that refuses his birthright to mope around Greece for most of the movie until it is their time to fulfill their destiny. It seems that Hollywood is running out of ideas. Rehashing the same tired concepts with different sickeningly buffed and oily slick men. Yamn! Bored.

Having seen a couple of Tarsem's films, it seems that he is focused on the aesthetic of the film instead of the most important thing, the dialogue. It seem hackneyed. The motivations of the characters are mystery to me. You have the gods on Mount Olympus talking to each other and you have no idea who the hell any of them are. Why should you care? There is something about the fight scenes seemed off to me. It was like the fight scenes were rehearsal footage. It seemed like the actors were in a choreographed dance instead of fight. The fighting was as lackluster as the one on one combat in The Dark Knight Rises.

My expectations of this movie was supposed to be frivolous fun with bronzed gods, but it was just the Exxon-Valdez onscreen.

My Rating

Saturday, March 9, 2013

What's Your Number?

What's Your Number? (2011)

Directed by Mark Mylod

Screenplay by Gabrielle Allan & Jennifer Crittenden

Based on the novel, "20 Times a Lady" by Karyn Bosnak

Stars: Anna Faris, Chris Evans, Ari Graynor, Blythe Danner, Ed Begley Jr, Heather Burns, Eliza Coupe, Kate Simes, Tika Sumpter and Joel McHale

Being that I am home-bound because of a certain eye infection, I need to have something to watch so I chose What's Your Number? I wanted to see a shitty movie with some eye candy. The movie was OnDemand for months now and I chose it. That's basically what it is.

Ally (Faris) is a marketing executive that is canned by her pervy boss, Roger (McHale) that loves her own smells. Trying to find her way in the world, she sees an article in a woman's magazine about the number of sexual partners the average woman has. The average is 10.5. What the fuck is the half? A dwarf? She recounts her partners which was 20. One of her friends suggests that after 20 chances are that she would not get married. She goes on a crusade to track down every guy that she has slept with to see if they were the one that got away.

Let's cut the bullshit here. As with every cookie cutter romantic comedy there a guy in this case the man slut next door neighbor, Colin (Evans) and the romantically challenged girl that they have some contrived instances that will not make them hook up immediately. One person is love with a third person or that they would have some emotional love block. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

You want to know my number? My number is 106. 106 minutes taken from my life. Why waste my time with a movie that everybody and there mama knows that boy and girl are gonna get together at the end? Cut the filler. Watching this movie plot along was excruciating to watch and tedious to my psyche.

Show the audience something different, Hollywood. We are getting fucking bored of the same premise with interchangeable parts.

My Rating

Saturday, February 23, 2013

The 2013 Omie Award Winners

I am sure that twenty of you are eagerly anticipating the winners of the 2013 Omie Awards. Without further ado, here are the winners:

The Omie Award for Most Deserving Picture goes to…

for creating a story about innocent love between two boys,

"North Sea Texas." Producers: Luc Roggen and Yves Verbraeken

The Omie Award for Most Deserving Director goes to…

for bringing the coming of age story to the screen,

Bavo Defurne, "North Sea Texas"

The Omie Award for Most Deserving Actor goes to…

for portraying a police detective that moonlights as a contract killer, Killer Joe Cooper,

Matthew McConaughey, "Killer Joe"

The Omie Award for Most Deserving Actress goes to…

for portraying the titular Tolstoy heroine torn between wifely duty and forbidden love, Anna Karenina,

Keira Knightley, "Anna Karenina"

The Omie Award for Most Deserving Supporting Actor goes to…

for portraying a dastardly slave owner that wants to keep his "property", Calvin Candie,

Leonardo DiCaprio, "Django Unchained"

The Omie Award for Most Deserving Supporting Actress goes to…

for portraying a girl that professes her love to a boy that doesn't reciprocate, Éponine,
Samantha Barks, "Les Misérables"

The Omie Award for Most Deserving Original Song goes to…

for making a song about lost love into a song to find another love,

"The Big Machine" from "Safety Not Guaranteed"

The Omie Award for Most Deserving Foreign Language Film goes to…

a film about the epic clash between mobsters and the policemen trying to stop them, 

"The Raid: Redemption". Director: Gareth Evans.

The Omie Award for Most Deserving Animated Feature goes to…

a animated retelling of classic fables into an action hero team,

"Rise of the Guardians". Director:  Peter Ramsey

The Omie Award for Most Deserving Original Screenplay goes to…

a film that poses fun of typical horror movie tropes with a twist,

"The Cabin in the Woods." Written by Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard

The Omie Award for Most Deserving Adapted Screenplay goes to…

winning their third Omie Award,

"North Sea Texas." Written by Bavo Defurne and Yves Verbraeken. Based on the novel,
"Nooit gaat dit over" by André Sollie

The Omie Award for Most Deserving Documentary goes to…

(another four way tie)

for showing the blunt reality of millions of students lives every day,

"Bully". Producers: Lee Hirsch and Cynthia Lowen

for shedding light on a young Frenchman preying on a grieving Texas family,

"The Imposter". Producer: Dimitri Doganis

for showing the precision skill of sushi master, Jiro Ono,

"Jiro Dreams of Sushi". Producer: Kevin Iwashina and Tom Pelligrini

for bringing the life of AIDS activist, Vito Russo to the masses,

 "Vito". Producer: Jeffrey Schwarz

And for the granddaddy of them all, The Suck-It! Award goes to…

for a boring movie about a guy on the lam for stealing fucking bread,

"Les Misérables" nominated for Best Picture

And there you have it folks. I want to thank everyone for voting, especially for Bernardo from The Movie Rat for the nomination of North Sea Texas that it could dominate the awards. Until next year...

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Top Ten Films of 2012

Now that I flushed cinematic shit out of my system, I want to praise some movies that tugged at my heartstrings and made me want to tell everyone I know to see them. Here are my top ten films of 2012:


Seven Psychopaths

Going into this movie, I wasn't surprised that there was going to a philosophical message in it. It was like that with Colin Farell's first collaboration with Martin McDonagh in In Bruges. What surprised me the most in the meta aspect of the film. The movie could have been like McDonagh's version of Adaptation. The movie was funny and thought provoking with stand alone performances by Sam Rockwell and Chris Walken.



People have some hate for this movie. People say that it's overrated. This movie hearkens back to Casino Royale and makes us forget about Quantum of Solace. Sure the movie is fan service for the 50th anniversary of the Bond franchise, but I loved every minute of it. Great action, performances and the Home Alone aspect made it kitchy.


Killer Joe

I have never had so much fun with an NC-17 film ever. Usually, those films have brutal dramatic scenes. This had those, but the movie shows a change in Matthew McConaughey. He is not doing the usual bland romantic comedies. With this movie and his performance in Magic Mike, I'm actually excited to see what he has coming up next.


Django Unchained 

With all of the controversy and the "did I just see Jaime Foxx's nutsack" the movie got, I had fun with the over the top bloody goodness. Quentin Tarantino is the only director that could take inspirations for other movies and make something that is fresh and new. Sam Jackson was fucking hilarious as Uncle Ruckus --er, Tom --um Stephen, that's his name. Leonardo DiCpario was intense as Candie. Awesome movie.


Silver Linings Playbook 

It took me a while to get this movie. When the Oscar nominations, it was motivation enough to it. I don't know dick about football, but I get why this family are so consumed with the sport and how it relates to their lives. Here is a career defining performance from Bradley Cooper as the emotionally damage Pat. Jen Lawrence was fantastic as an equally damaged young widow. Robert De Niro came back in a big way as Pat Sr.  A non-traditional romance for the people who dislike sappy romantic comdies.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Bottom Ten Films of 2012

I know. I know that I am late to the party, but I follow the same rules as the Academy. Most movies nominated don't come out or go into wide release until January into February. I wanted to see all the films to make my final judgments. Trying to avoid to the awful didn't mean that I didn't see the eventual shitacular assaults to my eyeballs. Here are my bottom ten films of 2012:


The Grey

When I heard the Film Junk tauting this movie as one of the best movies of the year back in June, I wanted to see what the fuss was about. About five minutes into the movie, I knew what was going to happen and the big revelation at the end. There were some fucking annoying characters that I wanted glad became wolf food. I enjoyed their misery the characters went through to make up for mine watching this dreck.


Les Misérables

Words cannot describe how much I fucking hated this movie. Not all of the movie, but most of it. Excluding, Anne Hathaway and Samantha Barks, the movie was garbage. I cannot believe that a story about a man doing hard labor for stealing a fucking loaf of bread would be turned into a 2 1/2 hours musical with bland musical numbers Russell Crowe's guttural voice and the mediocre plot. My gay card might be revoked. I don't care.


The Bourne Legacy

Call me Miss Cleo, because I was telling Dan from Dan the Man's Movie Reviews that I thought this movie was going to suck elephant balls. I was right. Holy shit! Who wants to see a movie that was a rehash of The Bourne Ultanium but with generic version of Jason Bourne with whatever the fuck his name is. It was dull. So dull that I wanted to rip my fingernails off one by one with rusty pliers.


Red Tails

After taking the whole 2011 year off from watching movie, I started off 2012 with watching this bad Hallmark movie that somehow made it to the big screen. Don't get me wrong. I am proud of what the Tuskegee Airmen did in WWII and black pilots in general. It seems that the movie was dripping in so much syrup that you would into diabetic shock. 


The Dark Knight Rises

Going into the movie, I did not have the highest of expectations. In this nearly three hour miasma, I was pissed off that people were giving this movie praise. Are you kidding me? Are you high? The plot did not make sense. Christopher Nolan ending the Batman franchise is a good thing so we don't have to sit through another godawful Bruce Wayne flick. Back to the drawing board, Nolan. 

Saturday, February 16, 2013

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012)

Directed by Stephen Chbosky

Screenplay by  Stephen Chbosky

Based on his book

Currently #214 of the Top 250 Films of All Time on IMDb (as of this posting)

Stars: Logan Lerman, Emma Watson, Ezra Miller, Johnny Simmons, Nina Dobrev, Adam Hagenbuch, Mae Whitman, Erin Wilhelmi, Kate Walsh, Dylan McDermott, Paul Rudd, Melanie Lynskey and Joan Cusack

The first time hearing about The Perks of Being a Wallflower was an advertisement for the book on Mtv. It was during my senior year in high school and I wanted to read the book, but I never got the chance. The movie adaptation of the book was highly anticipated for me, but the movie was in limited release and never opened wide. Being bummed about that, waiting for the movie to come out on DVD was the only option. This movie could be the Generation XY version of The Breakfast Club.

Taking place in Pittsburgh circa 1991, Charlie (Lerman) is about to enter his freshman year of high school. It is a scary time for any teenager, but Charlie is a special case. He is the wallflower in the title, but he has skeletons in his closet about the tragic death of his aunt, Helen (Lynskey) years prior. He is haunted by that. Charlie realizes that the people that he knew from middle school would ignore him.

As his teacher, Mr. Anderson tells him, "if you a friend on the first day, you're okay." His luck is about to change when he meets a couple of seniors, Patrick and Sam (Miller, Watson) at a football game. Patrick is an openly gay student that is teased mercilessly for being himself. He didn't let that stop. Patrick step-sister, Sam is the object of Charlie's affections, but he is too shy to tell her his feelings. She is damaged herself with unsavory things happened to her. The trio become like the band of misfits. They are comfortable not conforming to social norms of high school life.

This movie made me revisit my high school expierences. Most were not pleasant, but it made me focus on the friends that I had when I was going through my inner demons. If it was not for those people that were misfits, outcasts like myself, I would not be here. They taught me that I am unqiue. Embrace and love myself. That I was special. Lifesavers all of them. Through all the times that I was constantly questioned about my sexuality, being called Brenda, being bullied, I went through some dark times especially my freshmen year like Charlie.

Every kid should see this movie that let them know that they are not freaks. The people messing with you are the freaks, because they cannot appreciated that you are being yourself and not being an high school archetype. This movie made me feel the same way like I did when I saw Dazed and Confused. It brings back those carefree days being young and having people that will stick by you through thick and thin.

You can probably tell by now that I love this movie. The actors were sensational in there roles. I might say that I confused about when the setting took place, because I thought it was modern day. When I realized it was taking place 1991/1992, the movie made more sense.

My Rating