Directed by Mark Polonia
"Screenplay" by John Oak Dalton
Stars: Jeff Kirkendall, Ryan Dalton, Jaime Morgan, and Tim Hatch
One of my Facebook friends mentioned this movie, I immediately watched the film on Prime Video. Holy shit! What did I watch?
Let me try to explain the "plot." (I am using quotes because this was almost of a movie.) Father Benna (Kirkendall) hears about the demonic possession of Noah's Ark. A bastard son had a pet shark that protects the ark. A documentary crew teleport to Turkey(?) to find the ark, but there is a secret cult and flashbacks to a guy "127 Hour" himself.
I was not intending to watch this film, but I knew it was going to be godawful. (Pun intended.) I was laughing at the beginning of the movie and the end. The middle was boring as hell. The "plot" was nonsense. Not a clue what was happening. The "acting" was passable.
The CGI. Oh, boy. The CGI was atrocious. Every time that damn "ancient shark" flopped on screen, I laughed. Awful. The fire and water effects left a lot to be desired.
I had a lot of questions at the end. What was up with the echo effect on the voice-over? How can an "ancient" shark maneuver a (lake? creek? stream?) that is snowing to jump out of it? I thought the movie was about a tale of a shark that killed the animals of Noah's Ark or something. Nope. Got this.
Rating: 1/10
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