Thoroughly Modern Millie

Thoroughly Modern Millie (1967)

Directed by George Roy Hill

Screenplay by Richard Morris

Stars: Julie Andrews, James Fox, Mary Tyler Moore, Beatrice Lillie, Jack Soo, Pat Morita, Carol Channing, and John Gavin

I have been in a bad mood for the past couple of days. When this happens, a comedy would usually cheer me up. My knowledge of "Thoroughly Modern Millie" was from the 2002 Broadway musical version and the GIF of Carol Channing saying 'Raspberries.' This movie is strange to say the least.

Picture it. New York City, 1922. A young aspiring stenographer, Millie Dillmount (Andrews) meets Miss Dorothy Brown (Moore) as they have rooms at a hotel for young ladies. Millie has a plan to be a stenographer and marry her boss. Okay. Dorothy wants to be an actress. Something funny is happening where someone is kidnapping woman to be sold into white slavery. Yep.

As I said before, this movie is weird. The central premise is strange. I was under the impression that the story was going to be about a naive woman trying to find life, love and possible heartbreak. That did happen, but the subplot of white slavery took me by surprise.

 The owner of the hotel, Mrs. Meers (Lillie) is behind the white slavery. It seemed strange for a white woman appropriating the Chinese culture with her 'laundrymen' that don't have names. They are called Oriental #1 and #2. Oof! Seeing this movie with 2022 eyes, I see a lot of insensitivity with Asians being the bad guys. Latinos speaking Spanish and being Lotharios. 

The tone of the movie was off for me. Was it a parody of Jazz Age musicals? Was it a tongue and cheek send up of musicals from the 60s? Was it a spoof musical? I could not tell. Millie had these glances to the camera. Her inner monologue were in inter-titles. Was this because the movie took place in 1922 that it was a silent picture with sound?

The only bright spot in this movie was the Oscar nominated turn of Carol Channing as Muzzy Van Hossmere. Whenever she was onscreen, she commanded it. I busted out laughing with her antics. I wished she was in more of the movie. Would it have saved it? Maybe. The plot line is strange.

Rating: 4/10

Valley of the Dolls

Valley of the Dolls (1967)

Directed by Mark Robson

Screenplay by Helen Deutsch & Dorothy Kingsley 

Based on the novel by Jacqueline Susann

Stars: Barbara Parkins, Patty Duke, Paul Burke, Sharon Tate, Tony Scotti, Alexander Davio, Lee Grant and Susan Hayward

I have never read a Jacqueline Susann novel, but I have heard of this movie for the longest time. This movie left me hollow like an empty pill bottle.

The story is about three women tries to navigate show business in different ways. There is Anne (Parkins) that leaves her small town for the Big Apple. She falls for the playboy agent, Lyon (Burke). There is Jennifer (Tate), a chorus girl that falls for a teen idol, Tony (Scotti) who has a secret. Lastly, there is the extremely talented, Neely (Duke) who squander her talents with a daily dose of booze and pills.

The movie is not for the faint of heat. I was surprised that this movie had a PG-13 rating. You can see Sharon Tate's tits, full nipple shown. Okay, sure. I was taken back by the homophobic slurs here directed toward the character of Ted Casablanca (Davio).

The thing I did not get was, What was the timeline from when Anne left home to the end of the movie in that alley? I had sense of what was happening. I felt that the screenwriters butchered chunks of book. There were weird jumps in the story that left me confused.

The movie is campy, but it is not a good movie.

Rating: 6/10