B.A.D. Movie of the Week: Secret Headquarters

Secret Headquarters (2022)

Directed by Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman

Story by Christopher L. Yost

Screenplay by Christopher L. Yost and Josh Koenigsberg & Henry Joost & Ariel Schulman

Stars: Walker Scobell, Keith L. Williams, Momona Tamada, Abby James Witherspoon, Owen Wilson, Jesse Williams, Michael Peña, Dustin Ingram, Levy Tran, Michael Anthony, Charles Melton, and Jessie Mueller

Has anyone heard of this movie? I didn't know about it until I saw a story of Jesse William's Instagram talking about this movie coming out. Let's just say that poster is misleading. The movie as a whole is a mess.

The world is a safer place with The Guard, a mysterious superhero that travels across the globe doing heroic feats. A secret organization headed by Argon (Peña) wants to the find the source of The Guard's power. Charlie (Scobell) staying over at his dad, Jack's (Wilson) house with his friends discover a secret lair beneath. He discovers that his dad is The Guard, and the children have a target on their backs.

Going into this movie, I thought the movie was going to be like Sky High based on the poster. No, I wasn't. It's more like Iron Man, but but he barely in the movie. Seriously. The movie was focusing on these dumb teenagers who did dumb things. 

Let's have a movie that have teenagers play with alien guns. Cool. Let's a movie where these adults are willing to kill these kids. All right. Have the kids cheat in school with alien technology and suffer no consequences. Fine. Have one of the characters, Lizzie (Witherspoon) be completely crazy for "older boys." Nope.

The secret lair was the coolest thing about this movie. Other than that, it was a disaster.

Rating: 2/10

The Cabin in the Woods

The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

Directed by Drew Goddard

Written by Joss Whedon & Drew Goddard

Stars: Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams, Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford, Brian White, Amy Acker and Sigourney Weaver

This movie came out earlier this year and I never knew it. People were saying that it was a good movie. I have said earlier this year in Avengers review that Joss Whedon was God. Well, I might need to change religions.

Just like any other horror movie you have to have the classic troupes; you have the slut Jules (Hutchison), the meathead Curt (Hemsworth), the brain Holden (Williams), the pothead Marty (Kranz) and the virgin Dana (Connolly). They have to go to an isolated place, which happens to be a cabin that Curt's cousin bought. It happens to be in the middle of woods. What makes this movie different, big brother. That's right. The young people actions are being watched by Sitterson (Jenkins), Hadley (Whitford), Truman (White) and Lin (Acker) from their control room.

Even though, I said that the I don't see a lot of horror movie, but I have seen enough to know when a movie is trying to be different. Throughout the movie, I kept thinking is this movie trying to be like Hostel. No, maybe The Truman Show? Edtv? Battle Royale? That is what running through my mind when I see this flick. I'm trying to get into it, but I feel like it was going to be have an unsatisfying ending. To me, I think it has.

There is also a mystery aspect to the film that I knew what it was when the first kill happened. Something is really bothering me with the motivations of the kids going to cabin. Those people who have seen the movie wouldn't Curt question his cousin about how they come to acquire the cabin.

I feel very mixed with this movie. There were some smart things the character did to not be the typical horror movie clichés, but it becomes stilted with the ludicrous premise. I expected some much out of this film.

My Rating