B.A.D. Movie of the Week: Bodies Bodies Bodies

Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)

Directed by Halina Reijn

Story by Kristen Roupenian

Screenplay by Sarah DeLappe

Stars: Amandla Stenberg, Maria Bakalova, Myha'la Herrold, Chase Sui Wonders, Rachel Sennott, Lee Pace, Pete Davidson, and Conner O'Malley 

The only that I wanted to see this movie was because of Lee Pace shirtlessness, and possibly some gay shit happening. That did happen, but the other parts of the movie were inconsequential.

During a "hurricane party," a group of "friends" gather together for some odd reason. Things take a turn when during the aftermath of Bodies, Bodies, Bodies, one of the person turns up dead. The night descends into chaos.

The thing with satire is that you have to have compelling characters, an even tone, and tight pacing. Here you don't care about the characters. All of them are assholes. I wanted all of them to die. The tone of the movie was supposed to be horror and comedy. It failed on those aspects. The rhythm of the action was so slow that I was about to become a corpse during the runtime.

You can call me a boomer, but I don't care about the message about not emulating things on TikTok. Yeah, no. Sorry. Next!

Rating: 1/10

Elvis

Elvis (2022)

Directed by Baz Luhrmann

Story by Baz Luhrmann and Jeremy Doner

Screenplay by Baz Luhrmann & Sam Bromell and Craig Pearce and Jeremy Doner 

Stars: Tom Hanks, Austin Butler, Olivia DeJonge, Helen Thomson, Richard Roxburgh, Luke Bracey, Dacre Montgomery, Leon Ford,  David Wenham, and Kodi Smit-McPhee

There was some trepidation going into this movie. I have seen people shower praise at this movie right and left. Usually when this happens, I would hate the movie. My suspicions were correct. 

Elvis's (Butler) life is recounted through the lengthy monologuing coming from Svengali-- Charlatan-- Con Man-- I mean, Elvis's "manager", Colonel Tom Parker (Hanks) as he is slowing dying that January night in 1997.

This movie is the classic "all style, no substance." I look at the movie and see a lot of money has been put into the look of the film; the production design, costumes, the music. etc. It feels that I did not learn anything new about Elvis or his life.

Luhrmann touted that this movie is not a biopic. It has the making of a typical Hollywood biopic, but it's a skewed view of Elvis dictated by Parker's narration. It glossed over Elvis's time in the military service or his Hollywood acting career. For a movie that over 2 1/2 hours long, I got the surface level of Elvis.

The biggest problems of the movie are the "Dutch?" accent that Tom Hanks had to do for Parker. The prosthetics didn't do him any favors. It was like watching a goblin waddle around. The editing was a mess.  It didn't help with getting into the mood of the movie these quick cuts, zooms and dissolving shots. There were some hip-hop songs in this. I had to pause. If it was jukebox musical like Moulin Rouge! then I would understand. This had mostly Elvis's songs and some other blues/gospel/rock/country music from Lil' Richard, BB King or Mahalia Jackson.

Austin Butler is getting some Oscar buzz for his performance. I liked him in the movie. It feels like he is carrying an albatross, trying not to drown in a mess of movie. I don't see it happens for him. He might be a dark horse nomination for now.

If the film was structured better without having Parker as the co-lead of the movie, I would have like the film more. It should have been called, "Elvis's Manager" or "Legs."

Rating: 4/10

The Barefoot Contessa

The Barefoot Contessa (1954)

Written and directed by Joseph L. Mankiewicz

Stars: Humphrey Bogart, Ava Gardner, Edmond O'Brien, Marius Goring, Elizabeth Sellars, Warren Stevens, Rossano Brazzi, Valentina Cortese, and Mari Aldon

There were mentions of this movie on Twitter as of late, and I wanted to see why people are loving this movie. The poster of the movie confused me, "The World's Most Beautiful Animal?" Realizing that it was a pet name for Ava Gardner concerns me. I would rather watch a Barefoot Contessa with Ina Garten marathon than this.

The last three years of Maria Varga's (Gardner) life is recounted by the three important men in her life; her writer/director friend, Harry Dawes (Bogart), the publicist who tries to convince her to be in movies, Oscar Muldoon (O'Brien) and the love of her life, Count Vincenzo Torlato-Favrini (Brazzi).

This movie could have been great. When I was watching it, I kept thinking that they should have gotten rid of the three narrator voice-overs and not have the funeral peppered throughout the movie. The movie could have been more streamlined if they leave the mystery of what happened to Maria until the final moments of the movie.

I wanted to love this movie. It has some fabulous costumes, Ava Gardner, Spanish music and the Italian countryside. The movie as whole was not cohesive. The dialogue was long winded. It felt that Mankiewicz's hubris got the better of him.

I wanted to know more about this woman that never wanted to be caged. I didn't get that. It felt very surface. It could have been more tragic if I knew who Maria was more.

Rating: 6/10

Witness for the Prosecution

Witness for the Prosecution (1957)

Directed by Billy Wilder

Screenplay by Billy Wilder and Harry Kurnitz

Adaptation by Lawrence B. Marcus

Based on the play by Agatha Christie

Stars: Charles Laughton, Tyrone Power, Marlene Dietrich, Elsa Lanchester, John Williams, Ian Wolfe, Torin Thatcher, Norma Varden, Una O'Connor, Francis Compton, and Ruta Lee

Scrolling through the selections on Amazon Prime, I happen to find this movie. I wanted to see more Billy Wilder or Marlene Dietrich movies. This is solid courtroom drama to see.

Leonard Vole (Power) is standing trial. He is accused of the murder of Mrs. Emily Jane French (Varden). Noted barrister, Sir Wilfrid Robarts (Laughton) is tasked to represent him, even though his care nurse, Miss Plimsoll (Lanchester) watches him like a hawk, because of his recent heart attack. Over the course of the trial, details of that faithful come to the light.

I have to say that the banter between Wilfird and Plimsoll was very good. I didn't know that the movie was nominated for six Oscars. Laughton was very good with his portrayal of Wilfird. I cannot say that same with Lanchester. I'm not saying that she was bad, but I thought she was fine. Oscar worthy? Not really.

Usually when there is a mystery, I would usually figure it out an hour before the movie ends. This last fifteen minutes of the movie was the most riveting piece of cinema I have ever seen. I thought that I was so smart and figured everything out. Nope.

After the ending credits, I have more questions about the behaviors of certain people.

Rating: 8/10

B.A.D. Movie of the Week: Secret Headquarters

Secret Headquarters (2022)

Directed by Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman

Story by Christopher L. Yost

Screenplay by Christopher L. Yost and Josh Koenigsberg & Henry Joost & Ariel Schulman

Stars: Walker Scobell, Keith L. Williams, Momona Tamada, Abby James Witherspoon, Owen Wilson, Jesse Williams, Michael Peña, Dustin Ingram, Levy Tran, Michael Anthony, Charles Melton, and Jessie Mueller

Has anyone heard of this movie? I didn't know about it until I saw a story of Jesse William's Instagram talking about this movie coming out. Let's just say that poster is misleading. The movie as a whole is a mess.

The world is a safer place with The Guard, a mysterious superhero that travels across the globe doing heroic feats. A secret organization headed by Argon (Peña) wants to the find the source of The Guard's power. Charlie (Scobell) staying over at his dad, Jack's (Wilson) house with his friends discover a secret lair beneath. He discovers that his dad is The Guard, and the children have a target on their backs.

Going into this movie, I thought the movie was going to be like Sky High based on the poster. No, I wasn't. It's more like Iron Man, but but he barely in the movie. Seriously. The movie was focusing on these dumb teenagers who did dumb things. 

Let's have a movie that have teenagers play with alien guns. Cool. Let's a movie where these adults are willing to kill these kids. All right. Have the kids cheat in school with alien technology and suffer no consequences. Fine. Have one of the characters, Lizzie (Witherspoon) be completely crazy for "older boys." Nope.

The secret lair was the coolest thing about this movie. Other than that, it was a disaster.

Rating: 2/10

Best Picture Nominee Movie Catch Up: Spotlight

Spotlight (2015)

Directed by Tom McCarthy

Screenplay by Josh Singer and Tom McCarthy

Stars: Mark Ruffalo, Michael Keaton, Rachel McAdams, Brian d'Arcy James, Liev Schreiber, John Slattery, Stanley Tucci, Billy Crudup,  Jamey Sheridan, and Neal Huff

I remember when the scandal broke with the sexual abuse, and the Catholic Church trying to cover it up. I was disgusted. My views on organized religion were deteriorating at the time and I had good reason. This movie has to be seen.

During the summer of 2001, the Spotlight Team as part of The Boston Globe are urged to do a story about the child sexual abuse case by their new Editor-At-Large, Marty Baron (Schrieber). The team headed by Robby (Keaton) wants to keep the story hush until they are ready to publish the expose. Mike (Ruffalo) and Sacha (McAdams) dig deeper to find something bigger than they thought possible.

This movie is a slow burn. The beginning of the movie was a bit clunky with that opening scene in the 70s. I guess, it was establishing the Church's complicity to the abuse. Sure. We already know what happened. That scene doesn't need to be there.

The actors were solid in the movie. In my opinion, I thought that Mark Ruffalo gave a great performance as Mike. I was confused when I learned that his character was Puerto Rican. Made me side eye the film. Or when Stanley Tucci, playing Mitchell Garabedian, said that he was Armenian. Right.

By the end of the movie, I wanted all the churches to burn. I know that big organizations will be corrupt or try to protect their own people. This movie was gripping.

Rating: 9/10

Best Picture Nominee Catch Up Movie: The Favourite

The Favourite (2018)

Directed by Yorgos Lanthimos

Screenplay by Deborah Davis and Tony McNamara

Stars: Olivia Colman, Rachel Weisz, Emma Stone, Nicholas Hoult, Joe Alwyn, James Smith, and Mark Gatiss

Ever since Olivia Colman's surprise Best Actress, I wanted to see what the fuss was all about. I don't know what to say. I did not care for this movie.

Queen Anne (Colman) is ailing as a new servant Abigail (Stone) is brought to her services. Anne's close confidant is Lady Sarah Marlborough (Weisz) and also cousin to Abigail. The two cousins try to win favor for Anne's attention by any means necessary.

This type of movie would check all the boxes for me; gorgeous costumes, sharp dialogue, fabulous women and a lush score. It checked some of the boxes for me. The costumes were exquisite.

The problems I have with the film outweighs the positives. The score. Oh, dear. The repetitive chords drove me crazy. I learned that they were repurposed music from the musicians at the time period of Queen Anne's reign.

The fish eye lens shots were a terrible choice. I hated it so much.

The movie was billed a black comedy. I laughed once in the entire movie. The tone was all over the place. You have Queen Anne yapping like a chihuahua one minute and then you have one of the characters being poisoned and dragged. It was jarring.

The supporting performances by Stone and Weisz were far better than Colman. Colman's performance consisted of yelling, falling, stumbling, and being carted around. I don't get the hype with the movie.

Rating: 4/10

Hud

Hud (1963)

Directed by Martin Ritt

Screenplay by Irving Ravetch and Harriet Frank Jr.

Based on the novel, "Horseman, Pass By" by Larry McMurtry

Stars: Paul Newman, Patricia Neal, Melvyn Douglas, Brandon De Wilde, Whit Bissell, John Ashley, and Val Avery

After watching The Last Movie Stars, I wanted to see more Paul Newman movies. This has been billed as the first anti-hero movie. I don't understand the comparison there. There was nothing good in him to make anyone like him.

Homer Bannon (Douglas) is trying to keep his Texas ranch afloat when he sees that one of his cows dead in the field. He has to deal with a lot with his selfish, alcoholic, womanizing son, Hud (Newman) not making life easier for him.

Looking at the film, I can see that much thought was taken with crafting the tone, mood and the performances from the cast. Hud was supposed to be a bastard. Newman played that well, but the whole "anti-hero" comparison muddles everything. He is an awful person. You don't feel sorry for his character. You wanted him to get comeuppance.

The star of the movie was Melvyn Douglas. During the later parts of the movie, I understood why he won the Oscar for Supporting Actor. Homer is a broken man trying to make sense with everything around him.

The most baffling thing about this movie is Patricia Neal's Best Actress win. She's in the movie for twenty minutes and wins Best Actress. Douglas had more screen time won for Supporting. Odd. I liked her performance, but she should have gone into Supporting.

The movie was a character study through and through. I felt the rest of the movie failed to keep me engaged.

Rating: 7/10

Knives Out

Knives Out (2019)

Written and directed by Rian Johnson

Stars: Daniel Craig, Ana de Armas, Chris Evans, Jaime Lee Curtis, Toni Collette, Don Johnson, Michael Shannon, LaKeith Stanfield, Noah Segan, Katherine Langford, Riki Lindhome, Jaeden Martell, and Christopher Plummer

Being familiar with Rian Johnson's filmography, I was hesitant in looking at this. I was spoiled a bit about who done it, but the clues were there if you picked it up. Now, that the atrociously named sequel in coming out soonish on Netflix. This whodunit was good, but long in the tooth.

On the day of his 85th birthday, Harlan Thrombey (Plummer) is found dead in his study. Private Investigator Benoit Blanc (Craig) along with Lt. Elliott (Stanfield) and Trooper Wagner (Segan) question all of the members of the Thrombey family where something sinister is waiting to bubble up.

Can we get this out of the way? Daniel Craig's accent. What is that? I deduced that it was either Louisiana, because of the French name or it was South Carolina with that thick drawl. My assumption in the latter. It was something. Could have had a generic American accent, but when the exaggerated accent are there, you have to take pause.

Johnson did a similar style film with Brick that I didn't care for that much. This felt like a better attempt at the whodunit. I felt like there were some pacing issues. There is a scene where you see what happened and you have to sit through another hour of movie. The last twenty minutes of the movie were good with the reveal, but then you go back and find holes in plot. It kinda ruins the expierence.

I enjoyed the movie. Some characters could have been cut or combined into one character. Some characters were very one-dimensional.

Rating: 8/10

B.A.D. Movie of the Week: 200 M.P.H.

200 M.P.H. (2011)

Directed by Cole S. McKay

Screenplay by Thunder Levin

Stars: Jaz Martin, Hennely Jimenez, AnnaMaria Demara, Zedrick Restauro, Jared Kahn, Janet Tracy Keijser, Darren Anthony Thomas, Paul Logan, and Tommy Nash

This movie was mentioned in a bad movie reddit group as one of the worst movies ever. I could not find the movie for the longest time. Then, I saw a Squatch commercial on YouTube with Paul Logan. I looked at this IMDb and saw that he was in this movie. I have an app called PopcornFlix that had the movie. Serendipity. I'd rather watch movie again than this.

In the world of illegal street racing, Rick (Martin) witnesses his brother, Tommy (Nash) die in a car crash racing Kayce (Anthony). Rick makes it his mission to exact revenge on Kayce by pimping his ride with the help of Kelly (Jimenez), Phong (Restauro), and Albert (Kahn).

Is this worst movie I have seen? No. The movie is awful. 

It's a Fast and Furious knockoff with the most boring street racing scenes that I have ever seen. Well, the live action ones. Oh, yes. There are horrendously rendered CGI car chases in this. I thought my eyes were deceiving me when I saw the first one. It happened with every car chase. They barely went over 80. 200 was not an achievement unlocked. 

The acting is abysmal across the board. The weird slow motion and speed-up shots were unnecessary. If you have epilepsy, do not watch this movie. This should have been called "Toxic Masculinity: The Movie."

Rating: 1/10

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961)

Directed by Blake Edwards

Screenplay by George Axelrod

Based on the novel by Truman Capote

Stars: Audrey Hepburn, George Peppard, Patricia Neal, Buddy Ebsen, Mickey Rooney, Martin Balsam, Alan Reed, José Luis de Vilallonga, and John McGiver 

This movie is iconic for the fabulous fashion, for "Moon River" and for Mickey Rooney's problematic performance as Mr. Yunioshi. That certainly true. I am in love with this movie.

Holly Golightly (Hepburn) is a flighty woman that wants to have a carefree life. When a handsome writer, Paul Varjak (Peppard) moves in upstairs, her life becomes bit more complicated.

Let's get this out of the way. Mr. Yunioshi is a jarring start to the movie. He is the stereotypical depiction of a bumbling guy with the massive overbite. Whenever he was onscreen, I cringe. It's strange that there were Asian people in the movie and that happened. I shudder writing this.

Next, I love Henry Mancini and his score. I cannot believe that "Moon River" was played so often in the movie that I wanted it stop. It made me sick of the song.

Lastly, I want to say that Audrey Hepburn has an air that makes your fall in love with her. Is Holly a good person? To a point, yes. Sometimes she can be cruel and wishy-washy. Hepburn can still make you love her. That is a movie star. I love her.

Rating: 9/10

Nope

Nope (2022)

Written and directed by Jordan Peele

Stars: Daniel Kaluuya, Keke Palmer, Brandon Perea, Steven Yuen, Michael Wincott, and Keith David

After having some thoughts about Jordan Peele's last effort, I hoped that this movie was not going down the M. Night Shyamalan route of going cuckoo bonkers. It didn't.

OJ Haywood (Kaluuya) and his younger sister, Emerald (Palmer) are to keep their horse wrangling business afloat along with the ranch when their father, Otis (David) dies in a freak accident. OJ notices something strange in the clouds above their ranch. The siblings enlist the help of tech guy, Angel (Perea) with cameras to capture whenever is in the sky.

I was worried that this movie was going to have some batshit crazy twist or a ludicrous reveal. It didn't have that. It was a story about people having to deal with something out of this world.

This is the most straightforward movie that Peele has ever done. There was something that I didn't understand. There is a flashback in the film with Jupe (Yeun) as a young actor. Do I miss something? Why was that there?

Rating: 8/10

Us

Us (2019)

Written and directed by Jordan Peele

Stars: Lupita Nyong'o, Winston Duke, Shahadi Wright Joseph, Evan Alex, Elisabeth Moss, Tim Heidecker, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Anna Diop and Madison Curry

There have been mixed reactions to this movie ever since it came out. I wanted to see all of Jordan Peele's movies. Since I loved his debut, I thought I was like his follow-up. Yeah, no.

Adelaide Wilson (Nyong'o) is taking a vacation to their rental property in coastal California with her husband, Gabe (Duke) and kids; Zora (Joseph) and Jason (Alex). She is haunted by a traumatic event that happened to her when she was little. The trauma manifests itself as doppelgängers of her and her family begin to terrorize them.

 I did not have the highest of expectations when I watched this movie. It seemed that this movie did not set the right tone. There was no tension, no suspense. The Tethered looked creepy, but their mannerisms and way of talking made me laugh. I questioned their motives.

Reading into the movie, Peele wanted to deal with American privilege. Okay. Fine. I did not see that. If the movie was about a famous person or an affluent family than I would have gotten the theme more. It felt like a bunch of ideas that did not meld together well.

I will say that Lupita Nyong'o gave a performance in this movie. I was surprised that it didn't get enough awards attention. She went through it. The soundtrack was also great as well.

Lastly, fuck that ending. That was a head scratcher.

Rating: 3/10

Mrs. Winterbourne

Mrs. Winterbourne (1996)

Directed by Richard Benjamin

Screenplay by Phoef Sutton and Lisa-Maria Radano

Based on the novel, "I Married a Dead Man" by Cornell Woolrich 

Stars: Ricki Lake, Brendan Fraser, Shirley MacLaine,  Miguel Sandoval, Loren Dean, Peter Gerety, and Susan Haskell

One of my favorite YouTube channels recommended this movie. I tried watching this movie a year ago, and only watched thirty minutes or so. Watching the whole, this is an experience.

A down on her luck young woman, Connie (Lake) is pregnant and has been kicked out by her loser boyfriend, Steve (Dean). Connie stows away on a train bound to Boston from NYC. She befriends Hugh (Fraser) and his wife, Patricia (Haskell). The train derails, Connie goes into a coma and people are thinking that she is Patricia Winterbourne. She has to keep the lie going to Winterbourne family.

Maybe it's my memory, but I did not remember the parts of the movie that I saw. Looking at the movie now, it was wild ride. I didn't like Steve at all. His motives, his character, everything. He was not written well. I love Ricki Lake, but an actress she is not. The cold line reading. Oof.

The lifeblood of the film are MacLaine and Fraser. The endless charisma and presence that they possess could elevate the most awful schlock into something watchable.

I thought this movie would be a middle of the road romantic comedy. It took a turn into being a black comedy. Not expecting it.

The movie is not that good, but it's one of those movies that is so bad that you kinda love it. I have that feeling when I finished the movie.

Rating: 5/10

Judgment at Nuremberg

Judgment at Nuremberg (1961)

Directed by Stanley Kramer

Screenplay by Abby Mann

Based on the teleplay "Judgment at Nuremberg" (1959) for the Playhouse 90 series by Abby Mann

Stars: Spencer Tracy, Maximilian Schell, Burt Lancaster, Richard Widmark, Judy Garland, Marlene Dietrich, Montgomery Clift, William Shatner, Werner Klemperer, Torben Meyer, Martin Brandt, Kenneth MacKenna, and Ray Teal 

This movie has been on my watch list for a couple of months now. I was putting off watching the movie, because the movie is three hours. Now that I have seen the movie, I wish the movie was shorter.

After the atrocities of the Third Reich in WWII, four German defendants; Dr. Janning (Lancaster), Emil Hahn (Klemperer), Werner Lampe (Meyer), Friedrich Hofstetter (Brandt) are standing trial for war crimes against people during that time. A tribunal of judges including, Chief Judge Dan Haywood (Tracy) preside over the case with Col. Tad Lawson (Widmark) as the prosecutor and Hans Rolfe (Schell) as one of the defense attorneys.

I am going to get the negatives out of the way. It was a good movie overall. I felt that the scenes outside of the courtroom lacked the intensity for me to be fully engaged. The other thing that bothered me was the start of the trail the German participants spoke German with English translators and vice versa, then this is completely dropped in the first forty minutes of the movie. Why did the people needs to translator headsets if they spoke in the same language?

The performances of the cast were spectacular. Schell was commanding as Hans Rolfe. Tracy was more nuanced in his performance. Learning that Clift ad-libbed his lines, you could not tell. It was very convincing. Garland was haunting and heartbreaking in her time. The middle of the movie was the most impactful part of the movie. I could not believe my eyes. It was devastating.

Rating: 9/10

Best Picture Nominee Catch Up Movie: Nebraska

Nebraska (2013)

Directed by Alexander Payne

Screenplay by Bob Nelson

Stars: Bruce Dern, Will Forte, June Squibb, Bob Odenkirk, Stacy Keach, Mary Louise Wilson, Rance Howard, Tim Driscoll, Devin Ratray, and Angela McEwan

As I am slowly but surely going through this long blog-a-thon, I wanted to all the nominees on Amazon Prime before my membership expires. This was the last one available at this current time. I was not expecting to love it like I did.

Woody Grant (Dern) believes that he won a million prize and has to go to Lincoln, Nebraska to claim said prize. His family thinks that it is a scam, but Woody would hear none of that. His youngest son, David (Forte) agrees to drive him from their home in Billings, Montana to Lincoln.

The premise of the movie has been done before with an elderly father going on a road trip for some odd reason. I didn't know that the movie was a comedy until I laughing at the line delivery that Bruce Dern or June Squibb when they call out people's stupidity.

There is a hesitation when a modern movie is in black and white. It can be an artistic choice. Sometimes I could feel inauthentic. Alexander Payne wanted to harken to family road trip movies from the 60s and 70s. I understood why he did this. Bravo.

Rating: 8/10

How Green Was My Valley

How Green Was My Valley (1941)

Directed by John Ford

Screenplay by Philip Dunne

Based on the novel by Richard Llewellyn

Stars: Roddy McDowell, Donald Crisp, Walter Pidgeon, Maureen O'Hara, Sara Allgood, Anna Lee, John Loder, Patric Knowles, Richard Fraser, Evan S. Evans and James Monks

As I usually do, I was scrolling through Twitter and saw that people were ranking this movie as one of the best Best Picture winners of all time. This movie has the reputation of beating Citizen Kane for the grand prize. I don't get the hype.

The movie takes place in a Welsh coal mining town where the action follows the Morgan family. Gwilym (Crisp) works in the mines with five of his sons. He wants to provide a good life for the youngest son, Huw (McDowell).

Let me get this out of the way. I don't like overly dramatic movies. The movie is dripping with sentimentality. I immediately shut down. The swelling, orchestral music. A tragedy befallen someone. Unrequited love. It doesn't do anything for me. It has to be natural.

The movie doesn't feel authentic. It was not filmed in Wales. Not a single Welsh actor was in the cast. It took me out of the experience.

During this time, a lot of movies with heavy religious messages were the norm. Any movie that tries to preach to you is a big strike for me.

Why do people love this movie? I don't get it. It was melodrama to the nth degree. I cannot stand movies that emotionally manipulate you.

Rating: 4/10

Six Shooter

Six Shooter (2004)

Written and directed by Martin McDonagh

Stars: Brendan Gleeson, Rúaidhrí Conroy, David Wilmot, Aisling O'Sullivan, Gary Lydon, Domhnall Gleeson, and David Murray

When I looked on Martin McDonagh's IMDb, I learned that he won an Oscar for this short film in 2005. I guess, I wanted to be director completionist. This was uploaded to YouTube by Fox Searchlight. I have thoughts.

Donnelly (Gleeson) learned that his wife died early that morning. Reeling from the news, he boards the train back to the Dublin and meets Kid (Conroy), a miserable bastard of a person that annoys everyone on the train.

I understand that McDonagh's movies are going to be black comedies. They are not going to deviate from that. Cool. This movie is not my jam. The biggest problem of the movie is Kid. He was fucking annoying the shit out of me. It's understandable that McDonagh's characters are not gonna be great people. Kid is probably his worst character to date. Sorry. I said what I said.

Rating: 4/10
 

Best Picture Nominee Catch Up Movie: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017)

Written and directed by Martin McDonagh

Stars: Frances McDormand, Sam Rockwell, Woody Harrelson, Lucas Hedges, Clarke Peters, Caleb Landry Jones, Abbie Cornish, Željko Ivanek, and John Hawkes

After seeing the trailer for Martin McDonagh's latest film, The Banshees of Inisherin, I realized that I did not see his most successful movie. I know that Frances McDormand and Sam Rockwell got a fuckton of awards for their performances. The movie is good, but I have some problems with it.

A grieving mother, Mildred Hayes (McDormand) takes it upon herself to erect three billboards, calling out the police for not doing anything to solve the rape and murder of her daughter, Angela. The billboards cause a stir with the Chief of Police, Willoughby (Harrelson) and hothead Officer Dixon (Rockwell) in particular.

Knowing McDonaugh's previous work, I knew that there was going to be some politically incorrect dialogues and situations. The story hinges on the billboards and how they cause an uproar in the community of Ebbing. Were the people going to be nice? No. I didn't expect them to be.

The performances by McDormand, Harrelson and Rockwell were fantastic. They deserved their nominations.

I did have some questions. What was up with the confrontation at Mildred's shop? What was the accent that Abbie Cornish had? I love McDonagh's dialogue. There were some lines that were jarring to me. I kept thinking, "No one will say that."

The tone, the atmosphere, the performance were the highlights for me.

Rating: 8/10

They/Them

They/Them (2022)

Written and directed by John Logan

Stars: Theo Germaine, Kevin Bacon, Carrie Preston, Anna Chlumsky, Hayley Griffith, Boone Platt, Austin Crute, Quei Tann, Monique Kim, Anna Lore, Cooper Koch and Darwin del Fabro

The concept of this movie was intriguing to me. A horror film with queer characters in them. It doesn't happen that often. I tried to watch this film last weekend, but I got bored. Watching it again, still bored with it.

A group of teenagers are brought to a conversion facility, Whistler Camp, led by Owen Whistler (Bacon). One of the campers, Jordan (Germaine) has the sneaking suspicion that the camp is not what it appears to be. It's true with a masked killer picks people off one by one.

My mindset watching the movie is what is the tone? It was trying to be a harrowing drama, a slasher film with some comedy sprinkled in. It didn't mold together for an entertaining movie.

The most baffling character of the movie is Owen Whistler. He tries to be an "open minded" person running a conversion camp. His soliloquy about being yourself, blah, blah, blah one minute and then intentionally misgendering someone the next. It's not a cute look.

All of the characters are very stereotypical; the closet case, the Broadway queen, self-hating lesbian, the butch stud, the token human punching bag, etc. The movie felt disgusting with the "therapy sessions" that take a turn.

This is horror movie. Very boring one. The kills between the first and the next one was LONG. I was wondering, nobody is talking about this person being missing. No? Okay. It felt like John Logan was trying to the bare minimum. He had this story brewing for years. Fine. It doesn't work as a horror movie, a thriller or anything.

Rating: 3/10

An American in Paris

An American in Paris (1951)

Directed by Vincente Minnelli

Screenplay by Alan Jay Lerner

Stars: Gene Kelly, Leslie Caron, Oscar Levant, Georges Guétary, and Nina Foch

This would have been the last movie in my planned Gene Kelly watch trilogy. Well, life happens. I learned the movie won six Oscars. I was expected to be blown away. It's a good movie, but I have some problems with it.

The synopsis of the movie was saying that a struggling artist, Jerry Mulligan (Kelly) and well known singer, Henri Baurel (Guétary) are in love with the same woman, Lise Bouvier (Caron). Technically, that's true. Henri is barely in the movie. I thought that he would have a bigger role.

I was thinking that it was going to be more of a love triangle. It mainly focused on romance between Jerry and Lise. The thing is I did not believe that the romance. It seems that Jerry was more in love with Lise. I understand that this was the big screen debut for Leslie Caron, but she was the weakest part of the movie. She is a fantastic dancer, but her acting was not up to par.

I don't want to trash on the movie. The dancing sequences were very good, especially the ballet on the end of the movie. It was magnificent. George Gershwin's songs were instantly recognizable. 

Rating: 8/10
 

Prey

Prey (2022)

Directed by Dan Trachtenberg

Story by Patrick Aison & Dan Trachtenberg

Screenplay by Patrick Aison

Based on characters created by Jim Jones & John Jones

Stars: Amber Midthunder, Dakota Beavers, Dane DiLiegro, Stormee Kipp, Michelle Thrush, Tymon Carter, Skye Pelletier, Harlan Blayne Kytwayhat, Corvin Mack, and Samuel Marty

Looking at the trailer of this movie, I was struck to see that the movie is a prequel. This is interesting I want to see this. It lived close to my expectations.

A single Predator is released to the Great Plains of America in 1719. A Comanche girl named Naru (Midthunder) wants to hunt with the men of the tribe, but they will not let her. Naru sees a red streak in the sky and wants to investigate. She doesn't know that she will come face to face with the Predator.

The director, Dan Trachtenberg, I have known for years. I listened to his video podcast, The Totally Rad Show. I enjoyed it. He also did an awesome Portal short movie a decade ago. I am impressed at this movie with the cinematography, the action, and how badass Naru was at the end of the movie.

Knowing the Predator lore, you have some instances of why would the Predator do these. Why did it look different? People say that it was a feral Predator. Okay. There was major problem with the CGI. Especially with the CG animals in the movie were rough.

The movie is enjoyable that makes up for the subpar, dumpfire sequels that came out the last decade.

Rating: 7/10 

Predator

Predator (1987)

Directed by John McTiernan

Screenplay by Jim Thomas & John Thomas

Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers, Bill Duke, Jesse Ventura, Sonny Landham, Shane Black, Richard Chaves, Elpidia Carrillo, R.G. Armstrong, and Kevin Peter Hall

It has been long time since I have seen this movie. With Prey coming out, I wanted to revisit this to see if I liked it. This has not aged well.

A group of commandos lead by Dutch (Schwarzenegger) are tasked to extract a cabinet administrator from guerillas in a Central American jungle. When they get to the jungle, the team realize that they are being stalked by something out of this world.

This movie was made for men. Big guns, explosions, blood, guts and being men. It seemed that I blocked most of the movie from my brain. Watching the movie again, I see the lapse in logic to the commandos and for the Predator.

Being that the movie was released in the 80s, the visual effects were the biggest problem. Sometimes I could see the Predator when its falling supposedly cloaked. The infrared effects held up, but the other effects were not good.

While watching this, I thought that this movie was a spiritual sequel to Commando. Big muscle guy with a big motherfucking gun and warpaint plows bad guys down.

Rating: 5/10

The Last Movie Stars

The Last Movie Stars (2022)

Series directed by Ethan Hawke

Series written by Stewart Stern

Stars: (archive footage) Paul Newman, Joanne Woodward, Martin Scorsese, Sally Field, Dick Cavett and David Letterman

(re-enactment interviewees) George Clooney, Laura Linney, Zoe Kazan, Josh Hamilton, Barry Poltermann, Brooks Ashmanskas, Jonathan Marc Sherman, Alessandro Nivola, Karen Allen, Steve Zahn, Tom McCarthy, LaTanya Richardson Jackson, Vincent D'Onofrio, and Bobby Cannavale 

Everyone knows about the marriage of Hollywood actors, Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. This documentary lifts the veil on their fifty year marriage to let you know that everything was not sunshine and roses.

Ethan Hawke who put the documentary series together was tasked by one of the Newman daughters to bring their parent's life to light. I only knew that they were married, starred in films together and that was it.

There were some things that I didn't know. The rose colored glasses of it all. I didn't know that Paul had a wife who he was having an affair with Joanne. When Newman and Woodward got married, her star power dimmed while his was on the rise. His alcoholism. What happened to them when they got older?

It was fortuitous that family friend, Stewart Stern transcribed the interviews for Paul Newman's memoir that never came, because he burned the tapes in 1991. I felt like I knew the real people behind the mask that they shown to the public.

This documentary series is moving and poignant. Sometimes, I felt like the action would have benefited more if it was in chronological order. Hawke took the film in a Tarantino-esque trajectory that would have more emotional weight with a linear approach.

Rating: 9/10

On the Town

On the Town (1949)

Directed by Stanley Donen and Gene Kelly

Story by Jerome Robbins

Screenplay by Adolph Green and Betty Comden

Based on their musical

Stars: Gene Kelly, Frank Sinatra, Jules Munshin, Betty Garrett, Ann Miller, Vera-Ellen, and Florence Bates

My intent was to make a double feature with this and Anchors Aweigh. When I didn't like Anchors that much, I scrapped those plans right away. I made the right decision. This psuedo-sequel doesn't fare any better.

Three sailors; Gabey (Kelly), Chip (Sinatra) and Ozzie (Munshin) are on shore leave for only 24 hours. They try to make the best out of the time they have in NYC.

Are you trying to tell me that they were able to go to all of those places in one day? Highly doubtful. The sailors were able to fall in love with three women before they leave. Okay.

The story line is boring. I did not care about what was happening. Some of the dance breaks were cool to see, but it wasn't enough to enjoy the movie.

Rating: 5/10
 

Thoroughly Modern Millie

Thoroughly Modern Millie (1967)

Directed by George Roy Hill

Screenplay by Richard Morris

Stars: Julie Andrews, James Fox, Mary Tyler Moore, Beatrice Lillie, Jack Soo, Pat Morita, Carol Channing, and John Gavin

I have been in a bad mood for the past couple of days. When this happens, a comedy would usually cheer me up. My knowledge of "Thoroughly Modern Millie" was from the 2002 Broadway musical version and the GIF of Carol Channing saying 'Raspberries.' This movie is strange to say the least.

Picture it. New York City, 1922. A young aspiring stenographer, Millie Dillmount (Andrews) meets Miss Dorothy Brown (Moore) as they have rooms at a hotel for young ladies. Millie has a plan to be a stenographer and marry her boss. Okay. Dorothy wants to be an actress. Something funny is happening where someone is kidnapping woman to be sold into white slavery. Yep.

As I said before, this movie is weird. The central premise is strange. I was under the impression that the story was going to be about a naive woman trying to find life, love and possible heartbreak. That did happen, but the subplot of white slavery took me by surprise.

 The owner of the hotel, Mrs. Meers (Lillie) is behind the white slavery. It seemed strange for a white woman appropriating the Chinese culture with her 'laundrymen' that don't have names. They are called Oriental #1 and #2. Oof! Seeing this movie with 2022 eyes, I see a lot of insensitivity with Asians being the bad guys. Latinos speaking Spanish and being Lotharios. 

The tone of the movie was off for me. Was it a parody of Jazz Age musicals? Was it a tongue and cheek send up of musicals from the 60s? Was it a spoof musical? I could not tell. Millie had these glances to the camera. Her inner monologue were in inter-titles. Was this because the movie took place in 1922 that it was a silent picture with sound?

The only bright spot in this movie was the Oscar nominated turn of Carol Channing as Muzzy Van Hossmere. Whenever she was onscreen, she commanded it. I busted out laughing with her antics. I wished she was in more of the movie. Would it have saved it? Maybe. The plot line is strange.

Rating: 4/10

Evil Dead

Evil Dead (2013)

Directed by Fede Alvarez

Screenplay by Fede Alvarez & Rodo Sayagues

Based on the movie, "The Evil Dead" written by Sam Raimi

Stars: Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Jessica Lucas, Lou Taylor Pucci, and Elizabeth Blackmore 

I completely forgot that there was a re-imagining of Evil Dead that came out almost a decade ago. Is this "the most terrifying film I will ever experience?" Not really.

After a frightening drug overdose, Mia (Levy) is taken by her brother, David (Fernandez) and his friends to their family long neglected cabin in the woods to help her through withdrawal. When one of the friends, Eric (Pucci) discovers the Book of Dead, he unleashes a force that will takeover.

I went into this movie trying to distance my knowledge of the "Evil Dead" series with this. After viewing the Sam Raimi trilogy, it's hard not to compare.

I understood why Alvarez wanted to make he own version of Evil Dead while paying homage to the original movies with the chainsaw, the hacking of the arm or why the way that David dressed like Ash. I get it. He probably had a deep love for the movie, and wanted to make his own version for modern audiences. When you do that, you have to be faithful to the spirit of the original. It felt like a picked and choose what to leave in or out and ran with it.

It felt like Alvarez tried to make a movie about a bunch of young adults thrust into a messed up situation that they are trying to deal with it. The problem with that is when one of the characters, mainly Eric was the mastermind of setting said things into motion, then you lost any semblance of sympathy for the character.

What I will say is that the makeup was very good. The gore was fine. A bit over the top to point that this person should have died from blood loss already. There was a section of the movie that didn't need to be there. I understood that it was needed for the ending of the movie, but Alvarez/Sayagues could have put another character in with the core friends.

I felt like Elizabeth Blackmore who played David's girlfriend, Natalie had nothing to do in the movie. I forgot that she was there. I have one last gripe with the movie. On what Earth do you think that David and Mia are remotely related? Look at them to see.

Rating: 6/10

Bullets Over Broadway

Bullets Over Broadway (1994)

Directed by Woody Allen

Screenplay by Woody Allen and Douglas McGrath

Stars: John Cusack, Dianne Wiest, Jennifer Tilly, Chazz Palminteri, Jack Warden, Joe Viterelli, Mary-Louise Parker, Rob Reiner, Tracey Ullman, Jim Broadbent, and Harvey Fierstein 

There was an Oscar clip that I saw online with the legendary Dianne Wiest before winning for Best Supporting Actress. How come it took me this long to watch this movie? 

Broadway, 1928. A fussy playwright, David Shayne (Cusack) wants his latest play, 'Gods of Our Father' to be a hit. In order for it to be that to happen, his producing partner Julian Marx (Warden) had to make a deal with local mobster, Nick Valenti (Viterelli) to have his moll, Olive (Tilly) a part.

I want to dedicate this section of the review to Dianne Wiest as the self-absorbed Broadway diva, Helen Sinclair. Whenever she was onscreen, she commanded it. She was hilarious. That Oscar was richly deserved.

The costumes, dialogue and the feel of the movie was perfect. The performances were tight and correct.

The only knock I have with the movie is the ending. I hated it. It came out of left field. I will not accept it.

Rating: 9/10