Wednesday, March 13, 2013


Immortals (2011)

Directed by Tarsem Singh

Screenplay by Charley Parlapanides and Vlas Parlapanides 
Stars: Henry Cavill, Mickey Rourke, Freida Pinto, Stephen Dorff, Joseph Morgan, Luke Evans, Isabel Lucas, Kellan Lutz and John Hurt

After seeing gratuitous ass shots of Kellan Lutz from his upcoming movie Java Heat, the desire to see Immortals grew. Do not ask how my mind works. Just go with it. There was the desire to see the film when it came out on 11-11-11, but it happened on my hiatus from movie watching. Seeing the movie now, the adage goes: all style, no substance.

Taking place at a time where the gods rules and mankind are left to fend for themselves. The story has been done before with the chosen one, Theseus (Cavill), a peasant that has a higher calling. There is an evil king, Hyperion (Rourke) that is seeking a weapon that has the power to destroy the gods, The Epirus Bow. The virgin oracle, Phaedra (Pinto), foretells that the paths between Theseus and Hyperion would clash in an epic battle of the ages.

With my limited knowledge on Greek mythology, the story of this movie was bland to put it mildly. The movie reminded me of the remake of Clash of the Titans. It was the same story about about a demigod that refuses his birthright to mope around Greece for most of the movie until it is their time to fulfill their destiny. It seems that Hollywood is running out of ideas. Rehashing the same tired concepts with different sickeningly buffed and oily slick men. Yamn! Bored.

Having seen a couple of Tarsem's films, it seems that he is focused on the aesthetic of the film instead of the most important thing, the dialogue. It seem hackneyed. The motivations of the characters are mystery to me. You have the gods on Mount Olympus talking to each other and you have no idea who the hell any of them are. Why should you care? There is something about the fight scenes seemed off to me. It was like the fight scenes were rehearsal footage. It seemed like the actors were in a choreographed dance instead of fight. The fighting was as lackluster as the one on one combat in The Dark Knight Rises.

My expectations of this movie was supposed to be frivolous fun with bronzed gods, but it was just the Exxon-Valdez onscreen.

My Rating


  1. The story dragged on a bit and I couldn’t help but think that if the writing was a tweaked a little better, this would have definitely been a very solid film. Instead it was just fun and pretty to look at. Good review Branden.

    1. That's my problem. I don't want a movie that is just pretty. I need substance.