Final Impressions - 12/2/2011

Hmm. There is no major releases this week. We have a bunch of Oscar movies starting their limited runs. Let's get started, shall we?

Directed by Steve McQueen

Shame

This is the third collaboration between director Steve McQueen and lead actor Michael Fassbender.

I covered the latest trailer a couple of weeks back. I love that a movie would be released with a "NC-17" and they don't give a fuck about appealing to the MPAA. Usually, the rating will be the death of box office potential. Possibly the awards buzz with it could help it stay afloat.

Directed by Takeshi Kitano

Autoreiji

I don't know anything about this movie.

Here is the synopsis of the movie from IMDb: "The boss of a major crime syndicate orders his lieutenant to bring a rogue gang of drug traffickers in line, a job that gets passed on to his long-suffering subordinate."

It seems like another gangster story. Next.

Directed by Julia Leigh

Sleeping Beauty

This is not fairy tale story about the narcoleptic woman that has to wait for a guy to wake her ass up. This movie is about Lucy (Emily Browning), a young university student drawn into a mysterious hidden world of unspoken desires. Okay.

Directed by Michael F. Sears

A Warrior's Heart

This movie was supposed to come out last year, but it didn't. I wonder why. Because it's shitty. It has a shirtless Kellan Lutz, Chord Overstreet and some other chicks. Blah, bah, blah.

Disposable movie.

Directed by Matthew Leutwyler

Answers to Nothing

I saw the trailer for this movie. My reaction was meh. It stars Dane Cook--wait, hold up--he is the lead of this movie. Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Am I being punked right now?

Final Impressions (Holiday Edition) - 11/23/2011

Since Turkey Day is happening on Thursday, the movies are coming out in full force today. The picking are better this week than last week.

The Descendants

It has been seven years since Alexander Payne has a directed a movie since Sideways. His follow up in another loosely adaptation of the a book. People are talking about George Clooney being a front runner for the Best Actor Oscar.

The setting is in Hawaii. It looks nice. I heard some news that the movie is not all it is cracked up to be. It seems like one of those movies that is being hyped up for no payoff. I could be wrong.

The Muppets

It has been awhile since a Muppets movie has hit the big screen. Jason Segel tries to recapture the magic of the nostalgia from people who have grown up with them and kids that are just introduced to them.

The movie is like The Smurfs were humans are introduced to the cartoon characters.

It all seems a little meta like the original movies were.

My Week with Marilyn

Opening in limited release is the movie that is getting Michelle Williams a lot of Oscar attention.

I heard about this movie when a rival Marilyn Monroe movie was in production at the time. People are talking mainly about Michelle. Not much else.

Hugo

This is Martin Scorsese first foray in having a 3D feature. It's a based on a beloved children's book. I wonder what the movie is going to be like without the guns and f-bombs.

A Dangerous Method

Here is another Oscar contender that is opening in NYC and LA. There is a lot of buzz surrounding this movie as well.

The movie would seem a little to stiff to strike a cord with movie audiences.

Arthur Christmas

I have seen trailers for this movie. It seems like one of this disposable holiday kid flicks to get children to drag their parents along.

Final Impressions - 11/18/2011

This week is very light on the new releases. Um... yeah.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1

Holy shit! They are breaking this movie up into two parts. Are you fucking me? Do Twihards want to see more of this insipid "romance"?

Summit tries to suck money money out of the American public. they are the real bloodsuckers.

I saw the first movie. It was awful. I don't care about these movies. I have no interest with these brooding assholes. I can't wait for 2013. No more of these movies! YAY!!!!

Happy Feet 2

I have seen bits of the first movie. Not memorable.

So, it's another sequel.

What else can I say?

Final Impressions 11/11/11

It's that time ladies and gents for Hollywood to release another mixed bag of movies for you to consume. Also, today is 11-11-11. Everybody is going apeshit over it. Give me a break. Here are the movies that are opening today.

Directed by Darren Lynn Bousman

11-11-11

Speaking of a movies that is going apeshit, we have the latest from the director that gave us the glorious masterpieces, Saw 2, 3 and 4, Darren Lynn Bousman.

This horror flick is about a man that survives a car accident at 11:11. Then, strange events happens around 11-11. The date 11-11-11 is supposed to bring an evil unto the world. You know the drill.

Didn't people say the same thing when the remake of The Omen came out on 6-6-06 that the world was going to end and the devil was coming back?

Directed by Tarsem Singh

Immortals

Who wants to see a bunch of greased up muscle men with swords and shields? Women and gay men will flock at this movie. You still have 300, but this cast is prettier.

The director, Tarsem Singh directed that acclaimed movie, The Fall and The Cell with J. Lo. He has great visual style, but the other aspects of the movie suffer. I don't know what to say about this movie.

Directed by Clint Eastwood

J. Edgar

The Oscar baity movies are amping up with the release of Clint Eastwood's biopic of FBI honcho, J. Edgar Hoover. This is Leonardo DiCaprio's mission to win an Oscar

The movie delves into the his ascension of his status at the FBI, his influence on presidents, his cross dressing and his ambiguous relationship with friend, Carl Tolson (Armie Hammer).

Let the Oscar campaign begin.

Directed by Lars von Trier

Melancholia

Kirsten Dunst have been out of the spotlight for so long that I was surprised that has a movie out. It's a Lars von Trier movie. You know that his characters are going to be happy-go-lucky, don't have a care in the world and live happily ever after. (You know I'm kidding. Right?)

Kirsten won the Best Actress Award at the Cannes Film Festival. That should say something. Right? Maybe. No. Not at all.

Directed by Dennis Dugan

Jack and Jill

Why on God's green earth would Adam Sandler do this movie? Seriously. Write a comment about who would possess somebody to make this movie.

This is Adam Sandler's version of Norbit. The straight guy and the annoying, outrageous drag version of him.

This looks so unfunny, unimaginative and possibly a waste of your time and money.

Final Impressions - 11/4/2011

I want to create different segments for this new venture of mine. I don't know if most of you know that I have boycotted going to the theater this year. So I decided to take it upon myself to judge the upcoming releases to see if you gonna waste your money or not.

Directed by Todd Strauss-Schulson

A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

There is a THIRD Harold and Kumar movie? Really? Don't get me wrong. I really enjoyed with the stoners went to White Castle. I couldn't care less when they busted out of Guantanamo Bay. Now, they are doing Christmas? In 3D? Are you fucking serious?

Why is this movie coming out in early November? Holy shit!

I think you should be stoned off your ass to enjoy this movie.

Hey, Kal Penn, what happened to your cushy White House job that got your character offing himself on House? It didn't work out.

Directed by Brett Ratner

Tower Heist

It's the Bernie Madoff story told in a heist comedy. Yay!

I know that Brett Ratner gets a lot of shit for this movies. I don't know think that this movie is doing him any favors.

A madcap group of would be crooks with Zoolander, Professor Klump, Bueller, the less famous Affleck brother, a generic Hispanic guy and Precious. How could they possibly go wrong?

Directed by Dito Montiel

The Son of No One

Have you seen a trailer for this movie? Neither have I.

This is Dito Montiel's third movie with Channing Tatum. I guess, he thinks that Tatum is good luck charm for this movie. Maybe that might have a co-pendent relationship like a certain duos. Say, I don't know (cough) Scorsese/DiCaprio. Ahem. (cough)Tim Burton/Johnny Depp. (cough) Oh excuse me. I need to take a lozenge for that.

I saw A Guide of Recognizing Your Saints. It wasn't a bad movie. It was okay. Fighting was just a way from Tatum to take his shirt off. I'll wait until he shakes his Magic Mike at me. Thank you.

Directed by Philipp Stölzl

Young Goethe in Love

Okay. This is a German movie that came out a year ago in Europe. Opening in limited release.

Here is the summary of the movie from IMDb: 

After aspiring poet Johann Wolfgang von Goethe fails his law exams, he's sent to a sleepy provincial court to reform. Instead, he falls for Lotte, a young woman who is promised to another man.

 Does that sound interesting to you? Have at it. I have no opinion.