Everything Everywhere All at Once

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

Written and directed by Dan Kwan and Daniel Scheinert

Stars: Michelle Yeoh, Ke Huy Quan, Stephanie Hsu, James Hong,  Tallie Medel, Jenny Slate, Harry Shum Jr, and Jaime Lee Curtis

This movie was not on my radar to see this year. Film twitter was buzzing about it. Thank you, twitterverse for the recommendation.

Evelyn (Yeoh), a seemingly ordinary woman is thrust into a world where there are multiple universe that have one common denominator, Evelyn. She doesn't believe that that there are other universes out there until the ultimate jumper, Joy (Hsu) tries to destroy her.

I didn't know what to expect with the movie. It was like being on an acid trip or watching a sequence of a Doctor Strange movie. I was strapped in and enjoyed the ride. What was happening with this movie? Sausage fingers, a black bagel, butt plugs and usual triggers for jumps. I laughed. I got emotional. I was creeped out. It was sensory overload.

The one thing that irked me was the exposition. The Waymond (Quan) character spouted A LOT of exposition about multiverses and jumps to Evelyn.

Rating: 9/10

B.A.D. Movie of the Week: Petey Wheatstraw

Petey Wheatstraw: The Devil's Son-In-Law (1977)

Directed by Cliff Roquemore

Screenplay by Cliff Roquemore

Based on the character by Rudy Ray Moore

Stars: Rudy Ray Moore, Jimmy Lynch, Leroy Daniels, Ernest Mayhand, Ebony Wright, Brian Breye and G. Tito Shaw

This is the first blaxploitation movie that I have seen fully. I am familiar with Dolemite, Coffy and Shaft. This movie is a trip and a half.

Petey Wheatstraw (Moore) is a comedian that knows martial arts from Bantu (Breye). Two rival comedians, Skillet and Leroy (Mayhand, Daniels) owe him a lot of money. Instead of paying the money, they decide to take him out. Lucifer (Shaw) saves Petey in order to marry the ugliest woman in the underworld, his daughter.

The movie is not awful. It's interesting. My face went from confusion to laughing back to confusion. I was thinking is this movie completely ADR. No? Is it like a kung fu movie with bad dubbing? Yes. The fight choreography is weird. The acting wasn't great, but at same time was. There are some iconic scenes in this movie.

I might need to watch more blaxploitation movies and recess this movie in the future.

Rating: 4/10

The Batman

The Batman (2022)

Directed by Matt Reeves

Screenplay by Matt Reeves & Peter Craig

Based the character, "Batman" created by Bill Flinger and Bob Kane

Stars: Robert Pattinson, Zoë Kravitz, Jeffrey Wright, Colin Farrell, Paul Dano, John Turturro, Peter Sarsgaard, and Andy Serkis

Full confession: I have not watched a superhero film is over three years. I was going through superhero fatigue. I needed that break. After the bad taste that The Dark Knight Rises did for me, I was not looking forward to another Batman movie. I didn't care to see the Batfleck ones. Could not be bothered. This movie has raised the bar for superhero movies in general.

Everyone and their grandma knows the origin of Batman (Pattinson). This story reminds me of the 2016 Telltale video game that I played and beaten. The movie follows that story line and the famous story The Long Halloween.

There is a serial killer on the loose The Riddler (Dano), but not The Riddler you know. This Riddler places the entire city of Gotham in constant fear when very important figures are picked off one by one. The Batman teams with Lt. James Gordon (Wright) and Selina Kyle (Kravitz) to track down The Riddler to bring him to justice.

I had my doubts when it was announced that Robert Pattinson was going to step into the role of Batman. Many actors played Batman well, but not Bruce Wayne like Kilmer or Keaton. Many played Bruce Wayne well, but not Batman like Clooney. Pattinson belongs to the former for me. His Batman is like the Year One Batman; raw, brutal and uncompromising.

Zoë Kravitz and Paul Dano were the standouts of the movie for me. The score, the action, the lighting, the narrative harmonized well together to make a cohesive movie.

Rating: 10/10

The Northman

The Northman (2022)

Directed by Robert Eggers

Screenplay by Sjón and Robert Eggers

Stars: Alexander Skarsgård, Ethan Hawke, Nicole Kidman, Claes Bang, Anya Taylor-Joy, Gustav Lindh, Elliott Rose, Olwen Fouéré, Eldar Skar, and Björk

After my lukewarm response to The Lighthouse, I wondered if this movie was going to be the same. Thankfully that is not the case.

It is a classic revenge story. It has been done a million times before the Kill Bills, John Wicks or Gladiators of the world. The same could be said with adapting a million Shakespeare plays. We know what is going to happen.

I believe that director, Robert Eggers made something different. You can see with the trademark of having birds help or spell the doom of a character that he wanted you to be in the shoes of Amleth (Skarsgård) as he exacts his revenge on his uncle, Fjölnir (Bang) for killing his father, Aurvandil (Hawke). He wanted you to feel the hatred burning within him as Amleth makes his odyssey.

The movie is visually breathtaking. Were there things that shocked me in this film? Yes. Eggers wants to make you have visceral experience. It felt like it was almost there with his last outing, but with this you can feel his laser focus vision coming through.

 

Rating: 9/10

 

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B.A.D. Movie of the Week: House of Gucci

House of Gucci (2021)

Directed by Ridley Scott

Screenplay by Becky Johnston and Roberto Bentivegna

Based on the book by Sara Gay Forden 

Stars: Lady Gaga, Adam Driver, Jared Leto, Al Pacino, Jeremy Irons, Salma Hayak and Jack Huston

I was looking for to the movie for the longest time when it was shooting early last year. Hearing the negative reviews about this movie, it made me stay away until now. This movie is a doozy.

This movie chronicles the time between 1972 to 1997. The film tries to focus of the relationship between Patrizia Reggiani (Lady Gaga) and Maurizio Gucci (Driver), but it bogged down with a lot of side characters that have nothing to do with anything.

Confusing. That's what this movie was. You have no idea where the movie takes place in. What time period are we in? Who was the person? Are they important? Why is the movie so gray? Why is Salma Hayak in this movie? Who cast Jared Leto in this movie? Why (in general)?

The movie was not cohesive. If it was about the trial with flashbacks to when Patrizia and Maurizio met, their marriage, Patrizia's ambition, her "affair" with Pina Auriemma (Hayak) interwoven. Something.

The movie was business meetings; endless business meetings about the Gucci brand, selling the company to XYZ person, avoiding tax evasions charges. I don't understand the purpose of this film. It was not entertaining. It was too long, tedious and boring.

Rating: 3/10

The Lighthouse

The Lighthouse (2019)

Directed by Robert Eggers

Screenplay by Robert Eggers & Max Eggers

Stars: Robert Pattinson, Willem Dafoe, Valeriia Karaman and Logan Hawkes

When a director is touted as "visionary", I am worried about them getting a lot of credit for the bare minimum. Since I wanted to see The Northman, I wanted to check out Eggers second feature. 

I heard people say that this was a horror film. Horror where? This is a duet scene going on for almost two hours. I understand that the underlying message is about a guys decent into madness. Cool. I have seen much better movies about psychosis.

Pattinson and Dafoe give solid performances in this movie. The film as a whole is not great in my opinion. I kept asking myself, "What is the point of this film? What is that ending? Was the whole movie a mirage?" I don't know.

 

Rating: 4/10

The Kid

The Kid (1921)

Written and directed by Charlie Chaplin

Stars: Charlie Chaplin, Jackie Coogan, Edna Purviance, Carl Miller, Edward Biby and B.F. Blinn

I am not as well versed with Charlie Chaplin movies as other movie lovers. I have been expanding my scope of looking at films from different eras. The only movie I have seen of Chaplin's was City Lights. I cried at the end of that movie. 

The plot of this movie is a young mother (Purviance) abandons her baby as she dealing with a breakup. The baby is picked up by The Tramp (Chaplin). The Tramp raises this kid as his own.

I have seen a handful of silent movies. I know that you see their lips moving and a dialogue card does not pop out. That happened a few times in this movie. Not a single word of dialogue was said, but you understood what was happening to the characters as their lives intersect.

The bond between The Tramp and the kid, John (Coogan) were the backbone of this movie.

Rating: 8.5/10

All the Old Knives

All the Old Knives (2022)
 

Directed by Janus Metz

Screenplay by Olen Steinhauer

Based on his book of the same name

Stars: Chris Pine, Thandiwe Newton, Laurence Fishburne, Jonathan Pryce, Ahd Kamel, Jonjo O'Neill and David Dawson

The trailer of this movie intrigued me to watch it. I thought it was going to be a thrilling, spy movie, but it was not that at all.

The bare bones plot is that two former agents and lovers, Henry and Celia (Pine, Newton) reunite after eight years to have a long, drawn out discussion about the circumstances of a botched mission of a hijacked plane.

Most of the movie takes place in a restaurant where to two discuss in excruciating detail about the whereabouts, who said what to who, blah, blah, blah.

I looked at the movie wall eyed. I could not believe what I was seeing. I was bored to tears. I knew there was going to be some reveal that would piss me off. When the reveal happened, I was thinking, "What is the fucking point of this movie?" It doesn't make sense in a theatrical sense. The writer of the book wrote the screenplay. There is a difference between a book and a movie. There was a disconnect from the beginning. The movie should have been a short film in my eyes. This movie was a long commercial with the beauty shots and lenses flares galore.

I want to wipe my mind with this movie. Watch the trailer. Don't watch this movie.

Rating: 2/10

 

B. A. D. Movie of the Week - Bad Johnson

Bad Johnson (2014)

Directed by Huck Botko

Screenplay by Jeff Tetreault

Stars: Cam Gigandet, Jaime Chung, Nick Thune, Katherine Cunnngham and Kevin Miller

All right. I have decided to change the name of "Terrible Movie Thursday" into "Baffling. Atrocious. Disaster. Movie of the Week."

This movie. Oh, boy. This is the epitome of B.A.D. material. I heard of this movie a couple of years ago when the screenwriter was making the rounds around the gay scene a couple of years ago. Heard that that he was a big homophobe, so that's not a good thing. Anyway, there was a movie made about his one and only feature length script.

This "romantic comedy" is about a typical fuckboy player, Rich (Gigandet) who thinks he is the shit because he's a personal trainer, somewhat attractive and let's his dick do the thinking. One day, he wishes that his dick would go away and his wish comes true. His dick becomes a person (Thune).

I hate these movies where the straight guy threats women like sex objects or dumb sluts. I know the bad guy of the movie is The Penis, but the whole movie was bad. No logic. When Rich's penis leaves, he has nothing there-- Ken doll privates-- the question is "How does he pee?" He doesn't go to the doctor to get a catheter. It was lazy writing. The ending of the movie was asinine.

Stay away from this movie.

Rating: 1/10