Directed by Carrie Cracknell
Screenplay by Ron Bass & Alice Victoria Winslow
Based on the novel by Jane Austen
Stars: Dakota Johnson, Cosmo Jarvis, Henry Golding, Mia McKenna-Bruce, Izuka Hoyle, Nia Towle, Ben Bailey Smith, Nikki Amuka-Bird, Lydia Rose Bewley, Richard E. Grant, and Yolanda Kettle
Jane Austen's works are a foreign concept to me. I watched bits and pieces of her adaptations over the years. I'm not well versed. The response to this movie have been vicious. I can see why.
Anne (Johnson) is the makeshift narrator of her "tragic" love story. She pines for her love, Wentworth (Jarvis) that she had to give up eight years prior because of family pressures and his station. When he comes back, she acts standoffish, because of reasons.
Stated before, Anne narrates her inner monologue to the camera. Who decided that this was a good idea? I blame the screenwriters for this. It felt like the movie was being meta. 'Look at us. We are making a Jane Austen movie. Aren't we clever?' No, you're not.
The tone of the movie was very strange. I looked to see that it was a drama/romance. Where was it? Anne was being a awkward mess that word vomits throughout the entire runtime. It was more of a comedy of errors than a drama.
The central romance was nonsense. I guess, it was supposed to be the longing to be with each other. Cool. Anne is pining for Wentworth for EIGHT YEARS. He shows up and she is mute. They don't talk about anything for half the movie. Nope. Absolutely not. It dragged so much that I didn't care if they got together.
When Henry Golding came in as Mr. Elliot, I thought the movie would get better. Nope. It felt ick. Eyes bulging out of my head. I hated all of this. Leave.
The biggest problem of the movie for me is Mary, played by Mia McKenna-Bruce. When she came on the screen, I was thinking, "She's annoying. It would fade away." Nope! She is like that the entire movie. Moaning and opining that she has this disease and that ailment. 'Oh, I can't use my legs. Carry me.' I hated her. I don't know if it was an acting choice, but holy shit. I wanted her off the screen. I groaned when she reappears. I wanted her to die essentially. Did I say I hated her? I did. Go away.
The only reason this movie is getting a one is because of Richard E. Grant.
Rating: 1/10
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